A Tale of Two Coons

Have you ever met two people who are two opposite sides of the spectrum that they begin to look like the same person? That’s what comes to mind whenever I think about Tyler Perry and Sarah Palin. If both of them somehow fell off the face of the earth, I don’t think any sensible person would care at all. Keyword: sensible. Could that be the reason why these two are successful as they are? Take a closer look and you’ll notice that they are pretty much one in the same. Follow me….

They are both very rich. Tyler Perry has made bookoo money by turning his “religious” plays into a lucrative movie career as well as a couple spinoff tv shows. Palin has somehow went from an Alaskan hillbilly governor to the Vice Presidential nominee to a reality tv star and best-selling author. I know what you’re probably thinking. Who the hell is paying for this bullshit? This brings me to my next point

They dumb down their messages to what their audiences want to hear. Tyler Perry, for example, will have you believe that every dark skinned man that marries a dark skinned woman will have an affair with a fair skinned black woman or even, God forbid, a white woman. And that heart broken dark skinned woman will find solace by singing random gospel songs and screaming “Lawd Jeezus” over and over; she’ll eventually find true happiness with Shamar Moore or Boris Kodjoe. Sarah Palin on the other hand….well she’s just dumb. I don’t think she really knows any better. Much like the majority of the American public.

They’ve both attained their respective wealth from targeting an audience made up of one racial group with very little to no crossover appeal. I have a few white friends, but none of them have ever mentioned to me that they want/have been/are going to see a Tyler Perry movie. Except Whitey of course, but he’s marrying a black woman, so he doesn’t have much of a choice. Sarah Palin on the other hand targets true, red blooded Americans who are intent on “taking our country back.” Whatever the fuck that means. Oh yeah, back from that black guy.

They both supposedly “speak” for and express the views of a large group of people. Sarah Palin – Ignorant white people. Tyler Perry – Ignorant black people.

See a common theme here? For everyone out there reading this, you too can make it big by targeting a specific race and dumbing everything down to the lowest-common denominator. Now go out there and be somebody

Sarah Palin's Helping Hand

Sooooo….Sarah Palin is really on a blazing trail to make herself a revolutionary of the Republican Party. I’d be interested to see what hilarity would ensue on a ticket with her AND Michael Steele together. After all the dumb ass comments (or lack there of) she made during the presidential race back in 2008, I thought that maybe she would take some time to get her act together and try not to make an ass of herself. I thought we would never see a black president, but if this dumb ass broad continues to hang around the spotlight then I’m convinced we will never see a president of the female gender. Of course if you watch Faux News (see what I just did right there), you’ll be led to believe that she’s the only person that can pull us out of where we are as a nation. If you ask me, she’s setting women back about 10.7 years every time she makes a public appearance. So what has Ms. Palin been up to since the presidential race? Well she “wrote” a book pretty much shitting all over the committee put together for McCain’s campaign, the same one that fought to get her on the ticket. Good luck in 2012. When the Haiti tragedy struck, what did she do? No, she didn’t make any public appearances or speeches or give an interview about what we could do to help. She posted a note on Facebook and Myspace soliciting donations to the Red Cross. And now at the Tea Party convention that took place this past weekend, she continued to strengthen her legacy. I always assumed she didn’t know shit to begin with, but this was just ridiculous. During a Q&A session, she actually had notes written on the inside of her hand to help her get through the whole ordeal. Now, I just always thought people stopped this in elementary school as they developed more clever ways to get away with cheating, but then I thought to myself “we’re dealing with Sarah Palin, here.” This is the same woman who couldn’t explain why North and South Korea were separate nations. The same woman who, when asked by Katie Couric to give examples of John McCain’s policy plans during the presidential race, she said “I’ll try to find some and bring them back to you.” Word? Despite the fact that she must not have gotten the memo about that new invention that scientist just discovered last week called pencils and paper where most Americans can jot notes down and refer back to them if needed, I somehow didn’t think she could be this stupid. Somebody get this woman some school supplies, please. If she were still in grade school or at a regular 9 to 5, she would have been suspended or fired for something like this, but I guess the GOP will do whatever they have to so that they can keep people talking. That way they won’t seem like a bunch of old boring white men who sit around in blue blazers talking about country music and how great it is to be “the man”. I wish there was a way I could just put her and Wocka Flocka Flame together in a car and have it driven off of a cliff into a lake of fire with OJ Da Juiceman locked in the trunk. One could only dream.