Black women seem to complain all the time that they can’t find a good man out there or that they can’t find anybody to compliment them. There was a point in time where I was once sympathetic for you. I mean, the brothers were crossing over to White girls something serious. They got asses now, and of course they still give out dome on the regular. So I just figured it was how Nas best described it: Black Girl Lost. But after heavy consideration, that sympathy went away. There are no less Black men available now than there were 10, 20, or 30 years ago. Some bitches just don’t know what the hell they want. Now when I use the word bitch here, don’t take it as an insult. I simply don’t know every woman’s name in the world and this is the easiest way for me to get my point across.
I was motivated for this post after reading this article here in The Root (http://www.theroot.com/views/what-single-women-can-learn-michelle?page=0,0 ), and I couldn’t agree more. Now for those of you who are too lazy to click the link and read the article, I’ll sum it up for you. It points out the fact about how Black women are searching for this perfect man with all these outstanding qualities, but even if a man has the majority of these qualities, women still find the most insignificant thing to put him down or put him into the friend zone. The article gives an example of how some see Barack Obama as this man of their dreams, but on some real shit, it calls out Barack on some of his less than appealing qualities. However, Michelle was able to look past that 20 or so years ago and locked dude down, and look what she has now. Then again, he did have a Harvard degree....hmmmm
Another example that pisses me off was on the Black People Feel Good Movie, “Daddy’s Little Girls” starring Gabrielle Union and Stringer Bell…I mean Idris Alba (He will always be Stringer to me so that is how I will refer to him throughout this example)Stringer is a hard working, honest, good-looking dude (pause) trying to raise his three daughters. He meets an uppity Negro lawyer (Gabrielle Union) and they start feeling each other. Then her fellow uppity Negro friends try to tell her that dude ain’t good enough because he’s a limo driver and has another manual labor job. Which begs the side question: since when the fuck is Levita from the “Steve Harvey Show” and Joan from “Girlfriends” a credible source of dating advice? And the worst part is they were single too. Why the hell do women love to take relationship advice from women who are either single, are in a fucked up relationship themselves, or one who has been in very, very many relationships? If you have a friend who has been in a ton of relationships, it does not mean that he or she is fit to give advice; it simply means that they suck at relationships….that’s why they can’t keep one going.
The point here is for Black women out there to stop using excuses for not being able to find a good man. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have standards, but if you continue to hold every man you meet to impossible standards then, yes, it will be impossible for you to meet your Prince Charming. I’m sorry if I don’t fit your laundry list of qualifications, but don’t get mad when you don’t fit mine either. You want someone tall, dark, and muscular? That’s great, but that ain’t me. So don’t get mad when my list says I want a woman who is light-skinded, slender, with long hair. Don’t say you want a nice guy, but then give a dude the axe after the first date and say “he’s just too nice”? Didn’t you say you wanted a nice dude, or would you rather me put my foot up your ass before we order appetizers? You say you want a man to be aggressive, but if he tries to get some ass sooner than you would like to give it up your excuse is “I ain’t no hoe.”
If and when yall get your shit together, then maybe more Black men will get their shit together. Until then, be prepared to be the old single broad in the club. On second thought, I wouldn’t mind taking a cougar home from the club. In that case, forget everything I just said. Keep doing what you do.
