Cut His Nuts Off!!

I can’t say that I’m necessarily surprised, but Jesse Jackson has decided to make a comment regarding a subject that had absolutely nothing to do race and of course twist it into some ridiculous bullshit. So Lebron left the whole city of Cleveland and their soul burning slow on some Ether type shit. The Cavs owner, Dan Gilbert, then released an open letter to Lebron, the city of Cleveland, and anybody else who he thought might care what he has to say calling Lebron a coward, a traitor, etc. Jesse Jackson felt that he needed to come to Lebron’s aide (as if Lebron didn’t get enough of that by taking the easy way out and going to Miami). Here’s what Messy Jesse said: "He speaks as an owner of LeBron and not the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers… His feelings of betrayal personify a slave master mentality. He sees LeBron as a runaway slave. This is an owner employee relationship -- between business partners -- and LeBron honored his contract."

Really Jesse? You took it all the way there? Ok, I agree with the last sentence, but let’s discuss what was said before that. I know there are probably some black people who will gas Jesse up and support these erroneous statements. These are probably the same people who think OJ had nothing to do with murdering his wife, Ronald Reagan personally distributed crack in Harlem, and Steve Harvey is a relationship expert. And if yall believe that then I got some ocean front property in Idaho for cheap.

Don’t think that I’m defending Dan Gilbert here either. He sounds like a bitter ex boyfriend who just saw his girlfriend willingly get trained on by dudes that are better looking with bigger man parts (Pause!) and can kick his ass if he even thinks about trying to say something about it. But in no way am I on Jesse’s side. What I’d first like to know is who the hell asked Jesse Jackson his opinion on this? Did ESPN call him up and say, “Hey Jess, we know you were one of Chris Broussard’s sources throughout this whole ordeal. We just wanted to know what you thought about all of this.”

Second thing I wanna know is why people still call him “Rev. Jesse Jackson.” Where is this niggas church? When’s the last time he preached a sermon? Another thing I want to know is why did he have to take it there? You already got white people wanting to call Lebron a “cocky nigger,” but as we discussed a few posts ago they’ll say something like he’s a “typical self centered, NBA player who has no morals or values.” Point is there was no reason to bring race into this. At least not to that degree. What was Dan Gilbert supposed to do, chop Lebron’s foot off to keep him from taking his talent to South Beach. Better than thinking like Jesse and cutting his nuts off instead though.

What I'd also like to know is whether Jesse sees the log in his eye while spotting the speck in everyone else's (get it? quoting the bible to critique a "reverend"? Irony!!!). I guess since LeBron is Toby and Dan Gilbert is Massa', then Jesse could be considered a rapist. After all, he did impregnate a much-younger woman (he wasn't married to) who worked for him at the time. Classic case of exploitation for sexual favors, right? Well at least according to the good reverend's logic.

Last thing I wanna know is what an actual slave would think about Jesse's assertions. If I could travel in time and tell someone who endured the middle passage, bondage, torture, and family seperation through the slave trade that his plight was being compared to a free multi-millionaire employee having a "meanie-weenie" letter written about him, do you think he would assume this comparison was made by a so-called "black leader"? Do you think he might know a thing or two about what slavery actually was? Perhaps Jesse should stick to knocking up women out of wedlock instead of cheapening the experience of thousands of people who built this nation while enduring the most painful of human experiences.

I’m convinced that a lot of these major news sources ask for Jackson’s or Al Sharpton’s opinion simply to get a soundbite out of them and say “See, I told you they all think the same.” It almost hurts my heart to see and hear things like this because we all know Jesse will forever be linked to MLK. Most people today just recognize him from the picture standing next to King when they were standing on the balcony pointing, but he still thinks his association with MLK makes his opinion more relevant than it really is. Times like this, I wish King would have just ducked so that the bullet would’ve caught Jesse instead.

Liar Liar

Earlier this week I saw a movie called “The Invention of Lying”. To sum it up the people live in a world where they tell the blunt truth without any thought or knowledge of how not to. They’re programmed that way. One guy however formed the ability to say something that was not. In other words he was the only person in the world capable of telling a lie. Because everyone was programmed to tell the truth no matter what, everything that everyone ever said was taken at face value no matter how crazy or unbelievable it is.

So this got me to thinking on a few different levels. When people lie to someone they care about, is it for their own selfishness or is it because we want to spare the other persons feelings? For example, let’s say you’re in a relationship and you do something that would cause your significant other would leave if they ever found out. It can be anything from cheating to leaving your pubes in the shower. I don’t know how some peoples relationships work. Let's say you did whatever it is you weren't supposed to and that person asked you about it. What's your motivation for lying? I've heard both sides of the fence from ppl who believe that if you truly love and care about someone that you tell them the truth no matter how much it hurts because if it was really meant to be, love will conquer all and it will be. I've also heard the other side that believes you will lie to that person because you will do whatever it takes so that they won't leave you. I'll reserve judgement on which I think is correct or not, but I definitely understand where both sides are coming from. Just a thought


Also, would it be possible for any of you to go just a single day without telling a lie no matter the consequences. I honestly doubt I could do it for a few different reasons. For one, I’m likely to slack off at work and my manager will want to know why something isn’t done when it should be. At this point, instead of saying that I’m writing a blog that I’m going to post on facebook or that I’m more interested in this Bill Simmons column on espn.com, I’ll have to make up some bullshit answer to save my job or to avoid getting written up at least. Another reason is because I’m single and lying to random women is just a part of the game. I kid, I kid. But I’m going to let you all know that I plan on conducting a social experiment on myself where I have to tell the absolute truth no matter what. Maybe I’ll go for a day or so…maybe for a full week. I have no idea when I’m going to start the experiment and I’m probably not gonna let anybody know when I start because I don’t want them to ask me questions that may get their feelings hurt.

A Friendly Game

Good day, ladies and gentlemen. My brother reminded me today that I haven’t posted anything new up in a while so I thought I’d give you guys something good to discuss here today. This particular topic is something that I think most if not all of us can relate to; that of the dreaded friend zone. Personally I don’t have enough of an attention span to care too much about the friend zone. I can deal with it easily. If I’m digging you but the feeling isn’t mutual, maybe the next girl will. Hell, maybe your best friend will. Everybody isn’t as emotionless as me though, so I’m here venting on behalf of the people. I don’t think I’ve ever really put a girl into the friend zone unless she was somehow connected with someone whom I consider a close friend. Other than that, she’s fair game. But what I really want to know is what’s the point of the friend zone anyway? Shouldn’t you want to be with someone who you can just be yourself around without all the pressures of the romantic implications, or trying to impress them, etc? Shouldn’t you be friends first with somebody before you get too serious about them?

I think that more often than not, the friend zone doesn’t in actuality exist. Maybe one party feels that he or she will do something stupid to mess up what they have with the other person, so he/she will just put off the thought of being intimate with their friend because they would rather have them around in some form or another than not. It doesn’t change the fact that they think of each other as more than just friends though. If this weren’t true , and two people were in fact “just friends” then they wouldn’t do things that would make one believe that they want more. See, me and my friends don’t have tickle fights and give each other massages. They don’t get mad at me if I ignore them for another girl. We don’t get overly flirtatious when we get drunk. Friends throw up in your car. Friends have sex on your couch and don’t tell you about it until you sit down on that same couch. Friends take a piss in your nightstand…well at least mine do.

Originally I was going to do some kind of pseudo-advice post on how to get out of the friend zone, but I realized that I’d likely just copy and paste some random answers from a relationship blog. Instead, after intense consideration, I felt it best that one should embrace himself/herself in the friend zone. Personally, I don’t even see how someone could say they are “in love” with someone who they haven’t had any romantic interactions with (unless that other person is Beyonce), but that’s just me. If you truly are in like with your friend then you should probably let him/her know that. IF you happen to be rejected then don’t go into a hole and avoid this person because you are embarrassed at your failed vulnerability. Shit happens...so quit putting the pussy on a pedestal. Now, if you’ve been reading my posts for a while, you’ll know how I feel about having women around and how they can be a benefit to your potential success of picking up other women. Read it. Embrace it. Live by it.

What will happen once you reveal to your friend how you feel about them is that you will have planted a seed in their brains about your potential as a love interest. Once you have done that, move around. Don’t look at them as a potential love interest, and view them for what they are; just another friend. Stop going out with him/her on friendly dates and start going on real dates that you have picked up as a result of using your “just friend” as a wingman/woman. Treat him/her like a friend with benefits without the benefits. Maybe the friend will come around and realize that he/she is madly in love with you too. Probably not. If and when that doesn’t happen, it’s all good. At least you took a chance, and isn’t that what living is all about anyway?

Thuggin Lovin

True Story: Me and my boys Whitey and V Mac were promoting for a party a while ago. So after the club let out we had a few flyers on us that we needed to get out. As Whitey and V Mac were out there hustling flyers they were at a crosswalk and some random chick approaches, so they give her the whole spill about the party and whatnot. Apparently the girl decides she doesn’t want to wait at the crosswalk anymore and walks out just as a car is passing by. Being the gentlemen that they are, V Mac and Whitey stop her from getting hit by the car. The girl then turns to them and instead of thanking them for saving her life, she says, “See this why I ain’t coming to yall party. Yall aint even HOOD enough!” I can’t make this shit up.

So this isn’t a new phenomenon or anything like that, but a recent news story about a young lady who was killed by her boyfriend that had a reputation of a thuggish nature prompted me to put my thoughts down about this subject. Apparently her family warned her about the dude, but she was persistent in standing by her man until the very end….literally. I personally never understood why, but women seem to like “thugs.” There’s a reason I put the word in quotes; because no woman really wants a real thug. They just want someone who dresses the part. If you ask a woman why she likes the thug type of a man, she’ll probably give you some bull shit answer about how she needs a real man that can handle a woman like her. See, they like the thug persona, but still expect the young man to open doors, be a gentleman, be able to hold intelligent conversations, and dress like an adult when he wants to (no, dressing like an adult does not include an eight-button Stacy Adams suit). You would probably expect an answer like this from a woman in high school or college, but unfortunately these are grown ass women coming up with these answers. True, perhaps while a young man is immature and portrays a "thuggish" appearance in high school or maybe even while an undergraduate in college, but is actually en route to becoming a productive adult, once the 25-30 year age limit has been reached, "thuggish" ways have pretty much set in. Upon deeper thinking and research, I think I’ve found the real reason why. Walk with me, people

The first reason I believe is because, as I’ve stated before, some women just love drama. They need it to breathe. For some, a man who works at Dell or State Farm just isn’t interesting enough. They need someone who is out there working on his music and is in the “trap.” This way when he makes it big, she can quit her job and spend all day shopping, and all night in the club popping bottles. Either way, the dude with the 9-5 is a little too square for her, and she’d probably become bored with him quickly. Apparently stability = boredom

The other reason goes a little deeper though. I truly believe some women have a false idea of what masculinity is; as if a dude that is hot tempered and overly aggressive proves his manhood because he won’t concede to anything. Because a real man don’t take no shit from nobody and goes out and handles his. Riiight...

Sadly these are the women who will have gotten played, heartbroken, burned, etc by these so called thugs, and they will be alone and miserable. They’ll get tired of the dude with no stability and will be looking to upgrade to one of the straight forward guys out there with a 401k. Eventually they will end up on an ABC special about why successful black women can’t find a successful black man. So to all my good guys out there, don’t sweat it. They say nice guys finish last, but at least they don't finish in prison or a coffin. If you’re trying to get at a chick and she claims to want a “thug” or that you're not hood enough, just let her go. Stop trying to save em…let them hoes get run over.

Say What's Real

I figure nobody else is working on a Friday afternoon, so I took time out of my busy schedule to write this post for you; brought to you by the guys at MyShoeBag...

If you ever want to start a shit storm of hate and ridiculousness on any random internet comments section, the magic word is “Obama”. I’ll readily admit that he isn’t doing an outstanding job as president, but he’s not performing badly either. The fact of the matter is that Americans are stupid. The age of the internet has gotten everyone used to a “results now” mentality. It just so happens that most of the shit that the Pres is dealing with is going to take years before we see any kind of real change or benefits to take place. I’m not going to sit here and rant on and on about his policies because I can’t sit here and say I know all about them. Talk to Ed for that, just make sure you’ve cleared your schedule because the talk will last for hours with him. I’m not really going to try and defend whether or not I think Obama is doing an ok job. I just want the people who go on these blogs and comment about how shitty of a job he’s doing and will go at all lengths to attack him to say what it is you really wanna say. I’m not saying go Remy from Higher Learning on anybody, but you all know what word I’m talking about: NIGGER! (there, I said it). Now, I’m not saying this applies to all criticism of black entertainers and Obama, but I think we can all agree that there is an unequal segment of the population that engages in this type of activity. If not, blacks and whites would receive equal criticism on all levels.

It’s no different whether it’s sports and entertainment or politics. When T.O or Chad Johnson (I’m not comfortable calling him Ochocinco) celebrate a touchdown, they’re selfish and aren’t team oriented. But when Jarad Allen celebrates a sack in just as an elaborate fashion, he’s just emotional and having some fun. I won’t even go in on how different the whole situation played out for Kobe vs. Ben Roethlisberger. Another example: nobody even blinked an eye at the congressman who physically attacked a student with a camera on the streets of DC the other day, but you better believe that if you go to any story about Kwame Kilpatrick , you’ll see people label him…well, that’s a bad example. That nigga is just a royal fuck up (What up, 6?). But you get what I’m saying. It’s one thing to not agree with a politician’s opinion on certain subjects. But to label him as a “socialist” (when you don’t even know what it means) or Kenyan, or a “freedom fighter” is a little overkill. To me, it’s like some of the people who make these claims in the comments section are simply expressing their racist urges, but satisfy their bigotry by replacing race with another made up quality, that they wouldn’t normally give to a white person.

That's just me though, please feel to say what's really on your mind for this comments section.

Closed Mouth Don't Get Fed

If a dude is bored on a Friday night, chances are he’ll call one of his boys to see what’s up for the night. Is there anywhere they can go where there may be a chance of them picking up some new women at the bar/club? Because the only thing better than pu**y, is new pu**y. If that falls through, then he’ll likely scroll through his contact list to find someone who can get his rocks off real quick. It might not be something new, but it’s better than none. If that doesn’t work out, then chances are he’s probably just gonna pour up, possibly smoke on something, rub one out to soft core porn on Skinemax, and play Call of Duty until he falls asleep. It might not be as good an actual woman, but at least he doesn’t have to worry about having to think of a way to leave or get her out of his place when he’s done. This is the life of 95% of single men on weekends.

A woman, on the other hand, when bored on a Friday night will call some poor unsuspecting young man up, who thinks he has a chance to get some, and will coerce him into taking her to dinner. Not because she necessarily likes the guy, but simply because she wants something to eat and doesn’t want to pay for it herself. I’m warning all of the guys out there to please beware of the dinner whore. Urban Dictionary describes her as:

“A girl who is exclusively after a free meal or an expensive gift. She actively seeks out dates with well-off men who will wine and dine her at upscale restaurants. She is usually physically attractive enough to make the man fall for her feminine wiles. She will rarely have sex with these men until they spend a certain number of dollars on her. Nobody knows exactly what that number is, so the man keeps spending and spending, while the dinner whore keeps living it up.”

I will readily acknowledge that men use women too, but it’s totally different. When a man uses a woman, it’s likely for sex and little more than that. But if the woman keeps coming back for more sex then that more than likely means she’s getting some kind of enjoyment out of it too. In this case, everybody wins, so technically no one has done anything wrong. In the case of the dinner whore however, the guy has no idea he’s being used. In his mind since he’s taking her on all these dates, there must be something brewing here. He might start catching feelings. He might start following her to clubs in an unmarked car with pajamas on. Not that I’ve ever done that, but I’m saying it could happen to anybody.

The bad thing is, I can’t even place all the blame on the dinner whore. She’s just hustling as best as she knows how. Unfortunately, there remain simps out there in this world who will continue to pay and pay and pay for this woman’s company without even getting remotely close to any type of intercourse. Not even a rub and tug. So what do we regular guys do with all these gassed up women, who think their conversation alone is good enough to get a free meal out of us? Watch for the warning signs. Chances are, if after the second or third date, she hasn’t offered to pay up then she’s using you. If she only talks about herself and constantly refers to the expensive things she owns, then she is using you. If she constantly refers to herself as an “Independent Woman” then she’s using you. In the words of my boy V Mac, “If you have to say it, it ain’t true.” If she shows little interest in your life/work/interests/etc, then yes, she probably is using you. If you notice a pattern of the men she’s dated are something like: lawyer/doctor/athlete/rapper, but she’s a bartender, she’s probably just looking for somebody to trick some cash off on her. Side note: If SHE asks YOU to go out, then SHE should pay.
Don’t let these prostitute-lite women fool you. Here’s a little trick I learned from a wise man: when the bill comes, tell her you left your wallet in your other pants. The expression on her face will tell you all you need to know. If a woman is really into you, then she wouldn’t have a problem picking up the tab. A woman only there for a free meal will have a look on her face like someone just pissed in her Moscato.

If all else fails, just join the Hard on Hoes movement and save yourself a lot of headaches.