In the last post we discovered the benefits of having an attractive white female for a friend, and how she can help you in your endeavors to hunt prey...er uhh... pursue a young lady while out for a night on the town. My same white female friend dropped another gem on me about the potential benefits of hanging with a not-so-attractive lady friend. That got me to thinking. Is there a new wingman in town? I mean if your main objective is to go out and pick up women, the only purpose your boys serve, is if your target of choice has Purse Patrol with her. So what are the benefits of having the beautifully challenged associate as opposed to a “bad bitch” by your side? I’m glad you asked. Let’s go out for night on the town.
Scenario 1: (Insert Beautiful Friend) So you’re out, having a good time and drinking with your friend. To the unsuspecting mind of a woman, this is either your girlfriend or the girl that you are trying to do something with in the very least. Why else would you be out with her anyway, right? Even though they will deny it to the grave, women are intimidated by other attractive women, no matter how high their self esteem is. Now that you know this, you will see that her thought process is telling her that she will have to do something other than just looking good to draw your attention away from your “girl-friend.” Attractive women are lazy, though. They’ve never had to work for anything, and they can generally get anything they want with a little flirting and showing of the goods. But when presented with a challenge they will shy away, (Side note: I know this because I read it on wikipedia, which is always true) unless of course she’s a whore, which is fair game in my book.
Scenario 2: (Insert friend with a heavy resemblance to Whoopi Goldberg) So you’re out, having a good time and drinking with your friend. To the mind of an attractive woman, you’re not a shallow person concerned with looks alone, therefore you won’t go chasing after every piece of scattered ass that you see passing by. This is a wonderful characteristic to possess because women will now believe that you are more concerned with who they are as a person (laughs uncontrollably), and they will see potential in you. On the other hand she will also say to herself, “This guy can do so much better.” And when Whoopi goes to the bathroom, you will be approached by the attractive young lady. The next step is important: do NOT immediately go for the kill, unless it’s just that easy. Play that nice guy role, but don’t be a simp. You don’t want her to know your true intentions until you get the drawz. Whether or not you disclose to her, that Ugly Betty is just your friend right then and there, is not necessarily important.
And there you have it. Now, go to the clubs, my flock, and test these theories. If they are successful, we do accept donations for providing an analysis and dating guideline for you. If they are not successful…well, maybe it’s just you. Good Luck!
For more relationship advice, please submit any questions you may have to myshoebag@live.com
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Snowflakes
Last night I attended a party that I really had no interest in going to, but I had no other choice but to do so. I was presented with a theory that may help out black men for years to come. While posted up on the wall next to an attractive white female friend, she asked me whether or not I minded her hanging around, for fear that she might be “blocking” or throwing salt in my game, seeing as how there was an abundance of scattered ass around. I told her I didn’t mind. The next words out of her mouth changed my perspective on black/white relations…probably forever: “Maybe, I’m helping you out anyway. When other black girls see you with a white girl, they’re gonna think, ‘I need to take him from that white girl.’” OMG!!! Why haven’t I thought of this before? Besides the fact that white people always buy drinks for their friends and offer to pay for everything, this is the first time that I felt that I could take full advantage of my relationship with my white friends. Okay, maybe not the first, but you get the point.
I was always aware of the fact that my white male counterparts benefited when they hung out with me and our black friends. White girls and other non-black minorities see him as having enough danger and fortitude to actually hang out with black people, however enough safety and comfort to be with because, after all, he still is white. This even works with black girls. They see the white guy who has been accepted by the black race, so he must have done something to prove that he was “down” and/or “real.”
Now it’s our turn. Having white female friends will benefit black men no matter what race of women it is that you prefer. Of course, if your preference is black women, the theory mentioned in the first paragraph is for you. Spot the girl(s) in the club/party that you want to pursue. Go up to them, introduce yourself, flirt, and whatever else it is that you might do to get a woman’s attention. Now, if she’s feeling you and you “layed your game down quite flat” (C. Wallace. I Got A Story To Tell. 1997), she will be checking for you throughout the night. Return to your snowflake friend and be a little more friendly than usual. We know for a fact that 95% of black women hate to see a black man with a white woman, even though they won’t admit it. This is when her mind set will turn to stealing you back from the white girl. And you win.
Let’s say you have a thing for white girls (or whatever other race). The majority of all non-blacks see black men as threatening and dangerous to society. When you are gentle and friendly with a white girl in a public setting, other non-black women will see you how comfortable the white girl is in your presence and think, “Hey, he’s not like the rest of them. I’ll give him a chance.” And again, you win.
Moral of the story invest in a friendship with an attractive white woman. This theory will not work if she is overweight or unattractive. Then you become that black guy, who the only white girls he can get are fat, ugly PWT. Yeah, you know one or two of them. If all else fails and you hang around this white friend long enough, she will eventually want to take a dip of the chocolate. And again, you win!
I was always aware of the fact that my white male counterparts benefited when they hung out with me and our black friends. White girls and other non-black minorities see him as having enough danger and fortitude to actually hang out with black people, however enough safety and comfort to be with because, after all, he still is white. This even works with black girls. They see the white guy who has been accepted by the black race, so he must have done something to prove that he was “down” and/or “real.”
Now it’s our turn. Having white female friends will benefit black men no matter what race of women it is that you prefer. Of course, if your preference is black women, the theory mentioned in the first paragraph is for you. Spot the girl(s) in the club/party that you want to pursue. Go up to them, introduce yourself, flirt, and whatever else it is that you might do to get a woman’s attention. Now, if she’s feeling you and you “layed your game down quite flat” (C. Wallace. I Got A Story To Tell. 1997), she will be checking for you throughout the night. Return to your snowflake friend and be a little more friendly than usual. We know for a fact that 95% of black women hate to see a black man with a white woman, even though they won’t admit it. This is when her mind set will turn to stealing you back from the white girl. And you win.
Let’s say you have a thing for white girls (or whatever other race). The majority of all non-blacks see black men as threatening and dangerous to society. When you are gentle and friendly with a white girl in a public setting, other non-black women will see you how comfortable the white girl is in your presence and think, “Hey, he’s not like the rest of them. I’ll give him a chance.” And again, you win.
Moral of the story invest in a friendship with an attractive white woman. This theory will not work if she is overweight or unattractive. Then you become that black guy, who the only white girls he can get are fat, ugly PWT. Yeah, you know one or two of them. If all else fails and you hang around this white friend long enough, she will eventually want to take a dip of the chocolate. And again, you win!
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