Snowflakes

Last night I attended a party that I really had no interest in going to, but I had no other choice but to do so. I was presented with a theory that may help out black men for years to come. While posted up on the wall next to an attractive white female friend, she asked me whether or not I minded her hanging around, for fear that she might be “blocking” or throwing salt in my game, seeing as how there was an abundance of scattered ass around. I told her I didn’t mind. The next words out of her mouth changed my perspective on black/white relations…probably forever: “Maybe, I’m helping you out anyway. When other black girls see you with a white girl, they’re gonna think, ‘I need to take him from that white girl.’” OMG!!! Why haven’t I thought of this before? Besides the fact that white people always buy drinks for their friends and offer to pay for everything, this is the first time that I felt that I could take full advantage of my relationship with my white friends. Okay, maybe not the first, but you get the point.

I was always aware of the fact that my white male counterparts benefited when they hung out with me and our black friends. White girls and other non-black minorities see him as having enough danger and fortitude to actually hang out with black people, however enough safety and comfort to be with because, after all, he still is white. This even works with black girls. They see the white guy who has been accepted by the black race, so he must have done something to prove that he was “down” and/or “real.”

Now it’s our turn. Having white female friends will benefit black men no matter what race of women it is that you prefer. Of course, if your preference is black women, the theory mentioned in the first paragraph is for you. Spot the girl(s) in the club/party that you want to pursue. Go up to them, introduce yourself, flirt, and whatever else it is that you might do to get a woman’s attention. Now, if she’s feeling you and you “layed your game down quite flat” (C. Wallace. I Got A Story To Tell. 1997), she will be checking for you throughout the night. Return to your snowflake friend and be a little more friendly than usual. We know for a fact that 95% of black women hate to see a black man with a white woman, even though they won’t admit it. This is when her mind set will turn to stealing you back from the white girl. And you win.

Let’s say you have a thing for white girls (or whatever other race). The majority of all non-blacks see black men as threatening and dangerous to society. When you are gentle and friendly with a white girl in a public setting, other non-black women will see you how comfortable the white girl is in your presence and think, “Hey, he’s not like the rest of them. I’ll give him a chance.” And again, you win.

Moral of the story invest in a friendship with an attractive white woman. This theory will not work if she is overweight or unattractive. Then you become that black guy, who the only white girls he can get are fat, ugly PWT. Yeah, you know one or two of them. If all else fails and you hang around this white friend long enough, she will eventually want to take a dip of the chocolate. And again, you win!