No other sneakers in history have ever caused more ruckus than Air Jordans. The very first one was banned by the NBA. In the 90’s they were highly criticized for having what was then considered an astronomical price tag. People were getting killed for them. But no matter if you or everyone else in your neighborhood were rich or poor, you always managed to see plenty of people walking around with them. That’s just how fresh they were. Now after years had passed since the best and most classic models had been released, the Jordan Brand started releasing retros. For people like me whose parents were broke and had better things to spend money on, it’s a chance to go back and cop all of the classic shoes that I always wanted and can now afford. Like me there are hundreds of thousands of people in the same situation. And with the expansion of the sneaker community and culture growing, retro Jordans have become a must have for literally millions of people. They’re so popular that there isn’t enough supply to satisfy the demand when a new heavily anticipated shoe is released so that those searching for a pair have to camp out at malls and stores overnight to have a good enough spot in line to get to the shoes first.
Once again the release of a new sneaker has brought on heated discussions. From one side you have those hating on whoever chooses to purchase the kicks for whatever reason. Personally, I love sneakers. Especially Jordans (most notably the Air Jordan XI, which I consider the greatest shoe ever created). Some people don’t understand why I would spend a couple hundred bucks and go to the mall in the wee hours of the night just to get some shoes. Well you’re not supposed to understand. Copping sneakers just isn’t your thing, but I don’t judge you for that do I? You might think I’m being a follower and only copping the shoes just because everyone else is. Sure, nobody likes a hypebeast and it would be ideal if everyone who copped them did so for the love of the shoe, and not the hype surrounding it. But sometimes, a sneaker is just so fresh that some people have to give into the hype; and I can’t blame for that.
Originally I wanted to go on a rant and bash the people who are bashing the people who bought the Cool Greys but I’m in too good of a mood to let the negativity get to me. Cuz I got mine and luckily I didn’t have to stand in line to get them. Now I’m just gonna walk around the house with them and stare in the mirror at my feet all day. Merry Christmas to me.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
A Thin Line
Maybe some people just mistake our general body structure as a sign of weakness. Perhaps some people envy us and it’s their way of showing their true admiration. It could be that some people think they’re actually giving us compliments, even though them shits is about as back handed as a slap from a pimp in Mississippi. Maybe some people out there are mad because we have great genes, or possibly just jealous because our jeans fit great; I don’t know, but whatever the case is, I’m getting fed up with the universal lack of respect shown towards me and my brothers and sisters. I’m talking about us skinny people. Slim. Thin. Petite for the ladies.
True story. In the wake of my unemployment, I’ve become extremely bored, and finding an actual job is probably gonna take longer than I originally thought. So I decided to keep myself occupied by getting a part time gig. At this part time job this morning, there were a lot of deliveries being made to the store. As I stop to chat with a fellow associate, an older lady, our conversation goes as follows:
Associate: Hey there are a lot of boxes being delivered to the stock room so if you need to go back there, use the door to the right because the other door is blocked
Me: Sure. Ok
Associate: Actually it’s alright. You can probably fit. You’re teenie.
Me: (blank stare)
I’ve been called a lot of things in my life; mostly an asshole. This is probably the one that has offended me the most. I won’t even use the cliché “I’m a grown ass man” to show how uncomfortable and disrespected I felt. No, I’m an adult. There’s nothing “teenie” about me. Except for that one time, but it was cold that night and I had just gotten out the shower, but that’s not the point.
Being part of the HoH movement, my initial urge was to slap her. But she was white, and I’m not sooooo…yeah, probably not a good idea. Upon breaking down the situation, I couldn’t be mad at her. She didn’t know any better. We skinny people have let you “normies” (that’s we call you behind your back) disrespect us far too long, and it’s about time we put a stop to it. Now obviously we can’t do that by force because some people will just choose to sit on us. Literally. Not much more we can do at that point. But to all my fellow skinny people out there, it’s up to us to make sure that we call out those who think they continuously call us out and get away with it.
So the next time someone decides to give you a backwards ass compliment like “You are so skinny,” just smile and say, “Too bad you’re not.” Ladies, when you’re shopping with a friend and she says, “OH EM GEE, I wish I could fit into that, you’re so lucky to be so thin.” Give her a blank stare and say, “you could be too, if you joined a gym and stopped washing your food down with milkshakes.” Is that rude? Yes. A little disrespectful even? Absolutely. But our kind has been putting up with it for decades, and we’re not gonna take it anymore.
True story. In the wake of my unemployment, I’ve become extremely bored, and finding an actual job is probably gonna take longer than I originally thought. So I decided to keep myself occupied by getting a part time gig. At this part time job this morning, there were a lot of deliveries being made to the store. As I stop to chat with a fellow associate, an older lady, our conversation goes as follows:
Associate: Hey there are a lot of boxes being delivered to the stock room so if you need to go back there, use the door to the right because the other door is blocked
Me: Sure. Ok
Associate: Actually it’s alright. You can probably fit. You’re teenie.
Me: (blank stare)
I’ve been called a lot of things in my life; mostly an asshole. This is probably the one that has offended me the most. I won’t even use the cliché “I’m a grown ass man” to show how uncomfortable and disrespected I felt. No, I’m an adult. There’s nothing “teenie” about me. Except for that one time, but it was cold that night and I had just gotten out the shower, but that’s not the point.
Being part of the HoH movement, my initial urge was to slap her. But she was white, and I’m not sooooo…yeah, probably not a good idea. Upon breaking down the situation, I couldn’t be mad at her. She didn’t know any better. We skinny people have let you “normies” (that’s we call you behind your back) disrespect us far too long, and it’s about time we put a stop to it. Now obviously we can’t do that by force because some people will just choose to sit on us. Literally. Not much more we can do at that point. But to all my fellow skinny people out there, it’s up to us to make sure that we call out those who think they continuously call us out and get away with it.
So the next time someone decides to give you a backwards ass compliment like “You are so skinny,” just smile and say, “Too bad you’re not.” Ladies, when you’re shopping with a friend and she says, “OH EM GEE, I wish I could fit into that, you’re so lucky to be so thin.” Give her a blank stare and say, “you could be too, if you joined a gym and stopped washing your food down with milkshakes.” Is that rude? Yes. A little disrespectful even? Absolutely. But our kind has been putting up with it for decades, and we’re not gonna take it anymore.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
My Worst Nightmare
I mean yeah, I technically knew it was always a possibility considering the lakers are the best team in the NBA and are looking to go for a 3-Peat, which seems to be the only way Phil Jackson knows how to win championships. True enough, there are tons of bandwagon jumpers who come out of the wood works every year and claim to be lakers fans, but I never thought anyone with Austin blood in him would fall victim to the hype. We are Bulls for life; from my little big brother to my big little brother. Let me start by saying that I absolutely hate everything about the lakers. If every player simultaneously tore his ACL mid game, I would literally celebrate. Sure there are other teams that I hate. UT Football…can’t stand em. Dallas Cowbitches…seriously how can you root for a team where the owner looks like a corpse (that goes triple for Raiders fans)? But the lakers? I hate them 20 times more. So imagine my horror when I first learned that my step dad has been trying to coerce my only nephew into being a lakers fan. My heart broke when I heard him repeating some ridiculous chant my step dad made up. I almost wanted to fight my mother because she bought him a lakers short set.
Now, the little bastard (no offense) is playing little league basketball for the first time. I was kinda relieved when my brother said that he would be coaching him. I figured that he would instill some good basketball values in the kid and, whether through manipulation or brainwashing, whichever works best, turn him into a Bulls fan. Just my luck that the team assignments were handed out and guess what team my nephew is playing for? Guess what team my brother has to coach? Guess what team name they have to cheer for and call out whenever they break a team huddle? The motherf*ckin lakers. Why bad things happen to good people like me, I’ll never know. I do know one thing though. My brother better do whatever it takes to prevent what seems to be the inevitable at this point. Don’t feed him. Spank him for the hell of it. Lock him in his room. I really don’t care. Don’t get me wrong here; I love my nephew more than anything in this world. Nothing will ever change that. It’s just….it’s not that I’ll love him less if he’s a lakers fan, it’s just that I’ll love him more if he’s a Bulls fan.
Common Interests
You know what really grinds my gears? When a woman says that men are only interested in one thing. Is it true most of the time? Yeah probably. Here’s the problem I have with it though. It’s usually the women who’ve had that one thing taken from them from some guy (after which he drops her) that are yelling it from the mountain tops. And then other women start to believe it, and it messes it up for the rest of us. Well you know what I think? No, all guys are not only interested in one thing. It could be that the guy you’re talking to is only interested in one thing because you offer nothing else to interest him. If you have the conversation skills of a 5th grader, but you still look like Melyssa Ford, of course I still wanna have sex with you. But what else am I supposed to do with you?
So consider this a PSA, ladies. Step your personality game up. And if the guy still only wants that one thing from you…oh well. I tried to help. My job here is done.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
A Tale of Two Coons
Have you ever met two people who are two opposite sides of the spectrum that they begin to look like the same person? That’s what comes to mind whenever I think about Tyler Perry and Sarah Palin. If both of them somehow fell off the face of the earth, I don’t think any sensible person would care at all. Keyword: sensible. Could that be the reason why these two are successful as they are? Take a closer look and you’ll notice that they are pretty much one in the same. Follow me….
They are both very rich. Tyler Perry has made bookoo money by turning his “religious” plays into a lucrative movie career as well as a couple spinoff tv shows. Palin has somehow went from an Alaskan hillbilly governor to the Vice Presidential nominee to a reality tv star and best-selling author. I know what you’re probably thinking. Who the hell is paying for this bullshit? This brings me to my next point
They dumb down their messages to what their audiences want to hear. Tyler Perry, for example, will have you believe that every dark skinned man that marries a dark skinned woman will have an affair with a fair skinned black woman or even, God forbid, a white woman. And that heart broken dark skinned woman will find solace by singing random gospel songs and screaming “Lawd Jeezus” over and over; she’ll eventually find true happiness with Shamar Moore or Boris Kodjoe. Sarah Palin on the other hand….well she’s just dumb. I don’t think she really knows any better. Much like the majority of the American public.
They’ve both attained their respective wealth from targeting an audience made up of one racial group with very little to no crossover appeal. I have a few white friends, but none of them have ever mentioned to me that they want/have been/are going to see a Tyler Perry movie. Except Whitey of course, but he’s marrying a black woman, so he doesn’t have much of a choice. Sarah Palin on the other hand targets true, red blooded Americans who are intent on “taking our country back.” Whatever the fuck that means. Oh yeah, back from that black guy.
They both supposedly “speak” for and express the views of a large group of people. Sarah Palin – Ignorant white people. Tyler Perry – Ignorant black people.
See a common theme here? For everyone out there reading this, you too can make it big by targeting a specific race and dumbing everything down to the lowest-common denominator. Now go out there and be somebody
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Boo-Vember
It’s that time of year again people. The temperature is dropping. More layers of clothing are coming on. Soon it’ll be too cold to go out every night of every weekend to go out and chase skirts. So you know what that means…it’s officially Cuffing Season out there. Or as my boy The Hoss likes to call it, “Boo-vember”. So what exactly is cuffing season? That’s when you find that person that maybe you just met, or maybe you’ve been banging them out all summer and they were such a good lay that you figured, “Hey, I think I’ll just cuddle up with this person on those cold lonely nights and watch something from Netflix.” Wait, most of yall who read this are black, so you probably hit the Redbox at your nearest Wal-Mart. Either way it’s important that you spend your Cuffing Season wisely. Oh yes, there are rules to Cuffing Season, and if they aren’t followed disaster can surely strike. So here are my 4 Rules To A Safe and Happy Cuffing Season:
1. Stop. Look. Listen. Take the time to notice your surroundings. Notice someone cute over there eye fucking you in the corner? Go over and get em. A lot of people are vulnerable around this time of year. Pay attention to your surroundings. If you don’t wanna spend the cold, harsh winter alone, it’s vital that you keep your antennas up at all times. If not, you’ll find yourself alone all Winter, spending the weekends listening to Al Green, watching Entourage, and going to sleep after you jerk it to soft core porn on SKinemax.
2. At least have some fun. Your cuffing partner must be someone that you enjoy spending time with. Some people say there’s nothing like a good conversation. Well I say there’s nothing better than a good conversation unless it is followed by a potential lay. If you don’t follow this rule, then you’ll eventually get tired of him/her and you’ll find yourself out alone (cuz all of your other friends are caked up) and downtown on a 22 degree Saturday night trying to find a last minute cuddle buddy. And that can lead to bad decisions.
3. Yield. If that’s not your official boy/girlfriend, then don’t act like it. If you know you’re not going to be that person, then be weary of people who are a little overzealous about being in a relationship. Because you’ll either be too shook about losing your fa sho by trying to get some mo’ that you don’t even bother. Or maybe someone will get upset when one sees the other at happy hour hugged up with someone else. And then you end up like me…I mean the guy from #1.
4. Proceed with caution. It can be easy to become overwhelmed with the warmth of someone else during Cuffing Season. That’s why we call it Cuffing Season. You two will probably spend a lot of time indoors having some pseudo intimate conversation, where you really get to know him/her. Some half-assed feelings may come of this. But remember, here in Texas we don’t have a long cuffing season. So by the time you think you can develop something real, it’s getting warm again and people are wearing less and less clothes. It’s getting warm and now people just wanna have some spring time flings (see a destructive cycle happening?). God forbid you live in Austin, TX and you have an affinity for white women. Game. Over. While it’s great to be physically close to someone during cuffing season, make sure it’s worth it if you wanna go the emotional route. You’ve been warned.
So there you have it. There’s really not much else I can tell you except have fun. Happy Cuffing Season. And don’t be that one asshole; wrap that shit up, B
1. Stop. Look. Listen. Take the time to notice your surroundings. Notice someone cute over there eye fucking you in the corner? Go over and get em. A lot of people are vulnerable around this time of year. Pay attention to your surroundings. If you don’t wanna spend the cold, harsh winter alone, it’s vital that you keep your antennas up at all times. If not, you’ll find yourself alone all Winter, spending the weekends listening to Al Green, watching Entourage, and going to sleep after you jerk it to soft core porn on SKinemax.
2. At least have some fun. Your cuffing partner must be someone that you enjoy spending time with. Some people say there’s nothing like a good conversation. Well I say there’s nothing better than a good conversation unless it is followed by a potential lay. If you don’t follow this rule, then you’ll eventually get tired of him/her and you’ll find yourself out alone (cuz all of your other friends are caked up) and downtown on a 22 degree Saturday night trying to find a last minute cuddle buddy. And that can lead to bad decisions.
3. Yield. If that’s not your official boy/girlfriend, then don’t act like it. If you know you’re not going to be that person, then be weary of people who are a little overzealous about being in a relationship. Because you’ll either be too shook about losing your fa sho by trying to get some mo’ that you don’t even bother. Or maybe someone will get upset when one sees the other at happy hour hugged up with someone else. And then you end up like me…I mean the guy from #1.
4. Proceed with caution. It can be easy to become overwhelmed with the warmth of someone else during Cuffing Season. That’s why we call it Cuffing Season. You two will probably spend a lot of time indoors having some pseudo intimate conversation, where you really get to know him/her. Some half-assed feelings may come of this. But remember, here in Texas we don’t have a long cuffing season. So by the time you think you can develop something real, it’s getting warm again and people are wearing less and less clothes. It’s getting warm and now people just wanna have some spring time flings (see a destructive cycle happening?). God forbid you live in Austin, TX and you have an affinity for white women. Game. Over. While it’s great to be physically close to someone during cuffing season, make sure it’s worth it if you wanna go the emotional route. You’ve been warned.
So there you have it. There’s really not much else I can tell you except have fun. Happy Cuffing Season. And don’t be that one asshole; wrap that shit up, B
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Air Jordan XIII
Shout to everybody that'll be out this weekend to get those Flints. Hope your hookup from your sister's boyfriends cousin who works at Foot Locker works out for you. Also shout out to everybody like me who had them way back in like April thanks to Nice Kicks.
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Revelation
Not sure how many of you have heard Kanye’s new album, but it’s pretty damn good if you ask me. A lot of people say it’s his best. I haven’t given it enough spins to justify that yet; however it’s definitely got the lyrics as well as the production to compete with College Dropout and Late Registration. With that said, I think it’s about time everybody give Ye his props and recognize him as one of the great influences ever when it comes to this rap shit. I know what you’re thinking. That I’m just excited about the new album and I’m writing this on a musical high. But if you take a closer look at his rap sheet, there’s no denying the facts. Shall we explore?
First off, the guy makes good music and he does so on a consistent basis. Unlike some of the guys considered legends today, he’s never dropped a bad album. Even 808’s & Heartbreaks; for what it was, it was an okay album. He doesn’t have any frisbees like “Kingdom Come” or “Nastradamus”. The man has a brilliant catalog with certified classics that are accepted by media critics and hip hop heads alike. And I mean real hip hop classics, not these “new classics” that people are claiming like “Tha Carter 3” which, let’s be honest, was mediocre at best. And I’m being nice about that one.
Some people say he’s really not great in the technical aspect of rapping. Well neither was Tupac. Yeah, I said it. But you know what people love most about Tupac was his passion and the presence he brought to the mic. Don’t try to tell me that Kanye isn’t one of the most passionate rappers about his craft. And as far as the music goes, he’s a genius. Personally, I think he’s underrated as a lyricist. You can’t say that he hasn’t been around long enough to solidify his standing among the greats. That argument is always null and void if any of you consider BIG to be one of the best.
And from a production aspect, I think everything he’s ever done pretty much speaks for itself. He gave Jay the whole soul sampling vibe for The Blueprint. And after that dropped, pretty much everybody wanted a record that at least sounded like Kanye produced it. Of course guys like RZA and DJ Paul and Juicy J were doing that long before him, but they never made it as popular as he did.
A lot of you may not agree with me here, which is understandable. In my personal opinion, however, his influence is undeniable. Just thought I would drop some food for thought for you guys. Do I have Kanye in my top 10? Hell no. But to not give the dude his props is almost disrespectful. Just take a second to think about that for a minute. And if that doesn’t convince you, google a picture of Amber Rose.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Fool's Gold
I’ve always thought it was weird that Whitey reads random articles about random shit to do with black people. I’d much rather him read the wall street journal and hang out with other regular white people, that way we can hang out at their lake house in the summer and go on ski trips in the winter. Either way, his affinity for Negroes led him to this article on theroot.com. The article focused on how a relationship can suffer when the woman is the bread winner. Let me start by saying that this article was very poorly written. The author should have said, when women financially support their husbands, he may feel emasculated which can lead to further problems in the relationship and ultimately its termination. The end. But that’s too easy. Instead, she takes the reader on some pointless journey constantly complaining about yet another reason why black women can’t find/get/keep a man. Here’s why.
She starts off by saying that she would in fact have a problem with financially supporting a man. She didn’t give the reader any particular reason why, just that it would be a problem. As someone who recently got laid off, I’m thinking why would any man want to make this woman his wife if she’s not willing to hold down the fort in tough times. Let’s move on.
She continues to paint a picture of men who are knight’s in shining armor with the ability to support a woman, and give her the option of being a stay at home wife. Either that, or he’s a no good, lazy, Call of Duty playing loser who refuses to get a 9-5 because his rap career is about to take off any day now. Are we supposed to extend some kind of sympathy to the woman who married this guy? She knew what kind of dude he was when the relationship started. She only has herself to blame. A man is going to be who he is. Read this slowly, ladies. You. Can. Not. Change. A. Man. No matter how good of a lay you are.
The author makes some valid, albeit shallow, points in some parts of the article; however she negates them by making asinine comments like the one below where she describes her experience on a date.
This is what she said: “ …but I noticed in that instance and others how much of a problem he had with the financial responsibility of courting a woman. In fact, he said to me that he had no desire to be rich and wanted to live a simple life. He was not the man for me.”
This is what I read: “despite the fact that I’m an independent woman who makes her own money, a man should pay for everything when courting a woman, and if he has no desire to provide me with everything I need financially then we can have no future together.”
It should also be noted that the author is 49 and single. Let’s ignore the fact that she never mentioned the guy’s personality, education, values, etc. But he had no desire to be rich, therefore it could never work out for her.
Everything about this article is one big contradiction. Does the author wish to be a new age independent woman who can provide for herself or does she have the desire to be a stay at home wife and be waited on hand and foot? You can’t have it both ways. Either way, I’m through with it. I’ll leave it up to you guys to read the article to form your own opinions, but as usual, I’m right like always.
http://www.theroot.com/views/when-she-brings-home-bacon
She starts off by saying that she would in fact have a problem with financially supporting a man. She didn’t give the reader any particular reason why, just that it would be a problem. As someone who recently got laid off, I’m thinking why would any man want to make this woman his wife if she’s not willing to hold down the fort in tough times. Let’s move on.
She continues to paint a picture of men who are knight’s in shining armor with the ability to support a woman, and give her the option of being a stay at home wife. Either that, or he’s a no good, lazy, Call of Duty playing loser who refuses to get a 9-5 because his rap career is about to take off any day now. Are we supposed to extend some kind of sympathy to the woman who married this guy? She knew what kind of dude he was when the relationship started. She only has herself to blame. A man is going to be who he is. Read this slowly, ladies. You. Can. Not. Change. A. Man. No matter how good of a lay you are.
The author makes some valid, albeit shallow, points in some parts of the article; however she negates them by making asinine comments like the one below where she describes her experience on a date.
This is what she said: “ …but I noticed in that instance and others how much of a problem he had with the financial responsibility of courting a woman. In fact, he said to me that he had no desire to be rich and wanted to live a simple life. He was not the man for me.”
This is what I read: “despite the fact that I’m an independent woman who makes her own money, a man should pay for everything when courting a woman, and if he has no desire to provide me with everything I need financially then we can have no future together.”
It should also be noted that the author is 49 and single. Let’s ignore the fact that she never mentioned the guy’s personality, education, values, etc. But he had no desire to be rich, therefore it could never work out for her.
Everything about this article is one big contradiction. Does the author wish to be a new age independent woman who can provide for herself or does she have the desire to be a stay at home wife and be waited on hand and foot? You can’t have it both ways. Either way, I’m through with it. I’ll leave it up to you guys to read the article to form your own opinions, but as usual, I’m right like always.
http://www.theroot.com/views/when-she-brings-home-bacon
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Booty Is In The Eye of The Beholder
On more than one occasion I’ve been out with one or a few of my boys, brothers, cousins, long lost friends, etc. at a club/bar and have seen one of them seriously engaged in a conversation with some unsuspecting young lady. Only to have her turn around, and I’m sitting there with a confused look on my face like, “Whoa! You think that girl is attractive?” Now let’s get this off the table before we go any further. If it’s the fourth quarter and you need to go ahead and get your rocks of for the night, I’m not gonna judge you one bit. Take her home and have your way with her. Please. HOWEVER, do not try to convince me that said young lady is “fine” because she has a fat ass and thick legs. I know I’m not the only dude out there who’s had this conversation with one of his friends. Strangely enough, I’ve never had this conversation with one of my white friends. Nope, not even Whitey. So it would seem to me that black dudes typically put more importance on a woman’s body than on her face. I get that if a woman has a nice body, of course all men want to see the body naked. But if she’s a butter face, she should be reserved for nothing more than late-night-I’ve-run-out-of-all-options-and-jerking-it-just-won’t-cut-it-tonight status. That’s cool. But I see too many dudes walking around cuffing these chicks and still using the excuse of her having some curves to not notice that she is not in the least bit cute at all. Talking about “she’s a stallion though.” Yes, nigga, that bitch does look like Seabiscuit. This I don’t get. I’m not talking about one of those beauty is in the eye of the beholder type situations. If you like someone, you like them. I’m talking about dudes who will knowingly overlook an unattractive face in favor of a thick body and end up wifing one of these women. Where’s the logic? Chances are that all of those curves will turn to flab in a few years unless she’s in the gym on a regular. And let’s be honest here for a second: if we’re talking about black women in the gym, I think we can all agree that’s one of the least represented demographics for gym membership. No diss…I’m just sayin.
Me on the other hand, I’m a face guy. Nothing like a lady with a pretty face if you ask me. If we’re talking about wifey, or someone I’m seriously considering dating, I’d gladly take a pretty face and average body over all the voluptuous curves and a mediocre face. I would advise you fellas to do the same. Think about 10-15 years from now. Cuz my chick, who everybody said didn’t really have all that much of a body will still be cute, but if you continue to chase the thickness there’s a decent chance that it will turn into fat after a kid or two. And she’ll still look like Pookie from New Jack City in the face. Again, we’re only talking about women that you really want to pursue, but if we’re talking about a jumpoff…well then she’s face down-ass up anyway. So it doesn’t really matter at that point does it?
Me on the other hand, I’m a face guy. Nothing like a lady with a pretty face if you ask me. If we’re talking about wifey, or someone I’m seriously considering dating, I’d gladly take a pretty face and average body over all the voluptuous curves and a mediocre face. I would advise you fellas to do the same. Think about 10-15 years from now. Cuz my chick, who everybody said didn’t really have all that much of a body will still be cute, but if you continue to chase the thickness there’s a decent chance that it will turn into fat after a kid or two. And she’ll still look like Pookie from New Jack City in the face. Again, we’re only talking about women that you really want to pursue, but if we’re talking about a jumpoff…well then she’s face down-ass up anyway. So it doesn’t really matter at that point does it?
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
In Retrospect...
I'd like to take the time to reflect on what is, in my opinion, THE greatest shoe ever created. Not just the greatest basketball shoe or the greatest sneaker...no, the greatest shoe ever created in the history of mankind. The "Space Jams" ladies and gentlemen. Please take a moment to reflect and marvel at this brilliant display of footwear. Thank you, Tinker. The sun wouldn't shine as bright had you not designed these.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
What's In A Name
A few times a week my esteemed white friend known at the MyShoeBag offices as “Whitey” will send me a bbm with a quote sent by someone he knows on Facebook. This quote will usually contain some of the most NIGnorant bullshit that you can think of anyone saying. Of course I don’t have to ask what color the person is because usually he will include the person’s name along with the quote. Now why does Whitey continue to send me these quotes? Personally, I think he’s racist and he just wants to make fun of black people. Those of you who know Whitey will probably agree. He’s into psycho-science called sociology and all so he claims he’s just calling out the issues in hopes that black people will do better as a whole.
Whatever the case is, he got a point across. One of the names he sent over recently was so catastrophically horrible that I had to take a stand and make an effort t to put a stop to one of the many plagues that are keeping us negroes back. So this is a PSA to all black people to calm down with the use of these hood names that they give to their children at birth. I agree 100% with Bill Cosby on this one.
Names like “DeQuan” and “Tayvionne” and “LaShamia” (zing!) serve no purpose what so ever. They don’t sound cute. They are not empowering. Naming your son Q’vion’iskha’a with a silent K doesn’t get back at The Man. You can’t call them traditional black names like “Tyrone” or “Jamal”. White people have gotten used to those by now. These new waves of names are the ones where white people point and laugh behind your back. And they put Popeyes chicken and grape soda on your desk when you’re not looking. Not to say that’s necessarily a bad thing. Like most black people I love Popeyes chicken (with Cajun sparkle of course) and some Welch’s grape soda, out of the can please, but that still doesn’t make it right. But, I digress.
The names are getting ridiculous, and all they do is stick out like a sore thumb on a resume. Thankfully I have a very racially ambiguous name so I’m good. But I feel bad for a lot of the people whose parents didn’t have as much common sense as mine. I especially feel bad for men who otherwise have very normal names except the parents decided to put a “La-“ in front of it i.e. LaCharles or some bullshit like that. You know what that does to your son? It makes him 45% more likely to be gay. It’s a fact of life.
I know black people seem to want their child to have a unique name that’s never been heard before in hopes that the child will become something special. The reason the name never existed before is because no one likes it. It sounds absurd. Stop it. Now. Pick up a book of baby names. Use it. If all else fails, pick up the Bible and scroll the New Testament. Pick a name. Unless you are Mexican do NOT pick Jesus. Follow these rules and maybe you’re kid will stay away from jail…or even worse MySpace. Otherwise these kids will grow up with horrible names, which lead to low self esteem, and they will resent you, the parent. And none of us ever want our kids to resent us to the point that they end up doing low budget porn trying to make a name for themselves in the entertainment industry. But I’ma let the fish burn on that one.
Whatever the case is, he got a point across. One of the names he sent over recently was so catastrophically horrible that I had to take a stand and make an effort t to put a stop to one of the many plagues that are keeping us negroes back. So this is a PSA to all black people to calm down with the use of these hood names that they give to their children at birth. I agree 100% with Bill Cosby on this one.
Names like “DeQuan” and “Tayvionne” and “LaShamia” (zing!) serve no purpose what so ever. They don’t sound cute. They are not empowering. Naming your son Q’vion’iskha’a with a silent K doesn’t get back at The Man. You can’t call them traditional black names like “Tyrone” or “Jamal”. White people have gotten used to those by now. These new waves of names are the ones where white people point and laugh behind your back. And they put Popeyes chicken and grape soda on your desk when you’re not looking. Not to say that’s necessarily a bad thing. Like most black people I love Popeyes chicken (with Cajun sparkle of course) and some Welch’s grape soda, out of the can please, but that still doesn’t make it right. But, I digress.
The names are getting ridiculous, and all they do is stick out like a sore thumb on a resume. Thankfully I have a very racially ambiguous name so I’m good. But I feel bad for a lot of the people whose parents didn’t have as much common sense as mine. I especially feel bad for men who otherwise have very normal names except the parents decided to put a “La-“ in front of it i.e. LaCharles or some bullshit like that. You know what that does to your son? It makes him 45% more likely to be gay. It’s a fact of life.
I know black people seem to want their child to have a unique name that’s never been heard before in hopes that the child will become something special. The reason the name never existed before is because no one likes it. It sounds absurd. Stop it. Now. Pick up a book of baby names. Use it. If all else fails, pick up the Bible and scroll the New Testament. Pick a name. Unless you are Mexican do NOT pick Jesus. Follow these rules and maybe you’re kid will stay away from jail…or even worse MySpace. Otherwise these kids will grow up with horrible names, which lead to low self esteem, and they will resent you, the parent. And none of us ever want our kids to resent us to the point that they end up doing low budget porn trying to make a name for themselves in the entertainment industry. But I’ma let the fish burn on that one.
Focus People?
I can dig the ad, but what I don't dig is a blogger getting her panties in a bunch because they used a racially ambiguous model instead of a real sistah. Like if they had used Serena Williams instead, I can already hear the complaints that the company is exploiting the hyper-sexuality of black women by focusing on their most prized ASSet. Let's focus on what's really important here. Who is this model? And how can I be down?
Link to article:
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Cut His Nuts Off!!
I can’t say that I’m necessarily surprised, but Jesse Jackson has decided to make a comment regarding a subject that had absolutely nothing to do race and of course twist it into some ridiculous bullshit. So Lebron left the whole city of Cleveland and their soul burning slow on some Ether type shit. The Cavs owner, Dan Gilbert, then released an open letter to Lebron, the city of Cleveland, and anybody else who he thought might care what he has to say calling Lebron a coward, a traitor, etc. Jesse Jackson felt that he needed to come to Lebron’s aide (as if Lebron didn’t get enough of that by taking the easy way out and going to Miami). Here’s what Messy Jesse said: "He speaks as an owner of LeBron and not the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers… His feelings of betrayal personify a slave master mentality. He sees LeBron as a runaway slave. This is an owner employee relationship -- between business partners -- and LeBron honored his contract."
Really Jesse? You took it all the way there? Ok, I agree with the last sentence, but let’s discuss what was said before that. I know there are probably some black people who will gas Jesse up and support these erroneous statements. These are probably the same people who think OJ had nothing to do with murdering his wife, Ronald Reagan personally distributed crack in Harlem, and Steve Harvey is a relationship expert. And if yall believe that then I got some ocean front property in Idaho for cheap.
Don’t think that I’m defending Dan Gilbert here either. He sounds like a bitter ex boyfriend who just saw his girlfriend willingly get trained on by dudes that are better looking with bigger man parts (Pause!) and can kick his ass if he even thinks about trying to say something about it. But in no way am I on Jesse’s side. What I’d first like to know is who the hell asked Jesse Jackson his opinion on this? Did ESPN call him up and say, “Hey Jess, we know you were one of Chris Broussard’s sources throughout this whole ordeal. We just wanted to know what you thought about all of this.”
Second thing I wanna know is why people still call him “Rev. Jesse Jackson.” Where is this niggas church? When’s the last time he preached a sermon? Another thing I want to know is why did he have to take it there? You already got white people wanting to call Lebron a “cocky nigger,” but as we discussed a few posts ago they’ll say something like he’s a “typical self centered, NBA player who has no morals or values.” Point is there was no reason to bring race into this. At least not to that degree. What was Dan Gilbert supposed to do, chop Lebron’s foot off to keep him from taking his talent to South Beach. Better than thinking like Jesse and cutting his nuts off instead though.
What I'd also like to know is whether Jesse sees the log in his eye while spotting the speck in everyone else's (get it? quoting the bible to critique a "reverend"? Irony!!!). I guess since LeBron is Toby and Dan Gilbert is Massa', then Jesse could be considered a rapist. After all, he did impregnate a much-younger woman (he wasn't married to) who worked for him at the time. Classic case of exploitation for sexual favors, right? Well at least according to the good reverend's logic.
Last thing I wanna know is what an actual slave would think about Jesse's assertions. If I could travel in time and tell someone who endured the middle passage, bondage, torture, and family seperation through the slave trade that his plight was being compared to a free multi-millionaire employee having a "meanie-weenie" letter written about him, do you think he would assume this comparison was made by a so-called "black leader"? Do you think he might know a thing or two about what slavery actually was? Perhaps Jesse should stick to knocking up women out of wedlock instead of cheapening the experience of thousands of people who built this nation while enduring the most painful of human experiences.
I’m convinced that a lot of these major news sources ask for Jackson’s or Al Sharpton’s opinion simply to get a soundbite out of them and say “See, I told you they all think the same.” It almost hurts my heart to see and hear things like this because we all know Jesse will forever be linked to MLK. Most people today just recognize him from the picture standing next to King when they were standing on the balcony pointing, but he still thinks his association with MLK makes his opinion more relevant than it really is. Times like this, I wish King would have just ducked so that the bullet would’ve caught Jesse instead.
Really Jesse? You took it all the way there? Ok, I agree with the last sentence, but let’s discuss what was said before that. I know there are probably some black people who will gas Jesse up and support these erroneous statements. These are probably the same people who think OJ had nothing to do with murdering his wife, Ronald Reagan personally distributed crack in Harlem, and Steve Harvey is a relationship expert. And if yall believe that then I got some ocean front property in Idaho for cheap.
Don’t think that I’m defending Dan Gilbert here either. He sounds like a bitter ex boyfriend who just saw his girlfriend willingly get trained on by dudes that are better looking with bigger man parts (Pause!) and can kick his ass if he even thinks about trying to say something about it. But in no way am I on Jesse’s side. What I’d first like to know is who the hell asked Jesse Jackson his opinion on this? Did ESPN call him up and say, “Hey Jess, we know you were one of Chris Broussard’s sources throughout this whole ordeal. We just wanted to know what you thought about all of this.”
Second thing I wanna know is why people still call him “Rev. Jesse Jackson.” Where is this niggas church? When’s the last time he preached a sermon? Another thing I want to know is why did he have to take it there? You already got white people wanting to call Lebron a “cocky nigger,” but as we discussed a few posts ago they’ll say something like he’s a “typical self centered, NBA player who has no morals or values.” Point is there was no reason to bring race into this. At least not to that degree. What was Dan Gilbert supposed to do, chop Lebron’s foot off to keep him from taking his talent to South Beach. Better than thinking like Jesse and cutting his nuts off instead though.
What I'd also like to know is whether Jesse sees the log in his eye while spotting the speck in everyone else's (get it? quoting the bible to critique a "reverend"? Irony!!!). I guess since LeBron is Toby and Dan Gilbert is Massa', then Jesse could be considered a rapist. After all, he did impregnate a much-younger woman (he wasn't married to) who worked for him at the time. Classic case of exploitation for sexual favors, right? Well at least according to the good reverend's logic.
Last thing I wanna know is what an actual slave would think about Jesse's assertions. If I could travel in time and tell someone who endured the middle passage, bondage, torture, and family seperation through the slave trade that his plight was being compared to a free multi-millionaire employee having a "meanie-weenie" letter written about him, do you think he would assume this comparison was made by a so-called "black leader"? Do you think he might know a thing or two about what slavery actually was? Perhaps Jesse should stick to knocking up women out of wedlock instead of cheapening the experience of thousands of people who built this nation while enduring the most painful of human experiences.
I’m convinced that a lot of these major news sources ask for Jackson’s or Al Sharpton’s opinion simply to get a soundbite out of them and say “See, I told you they all think the same.” It almost hurts my heart to see and hear things like this because we all know Jesse will forever be linked to MLK. Most people today just recognize him from the picture standing next to King when they were standing on the balcony pointing, but he still thinks his association with MLK makes his opinion more relevant than it really is. Times like this, I wish King would have just ducked so that the bullet would’ve caught Jesse instead.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Liar Liar
Earlier this week I saw a movie called “The Invention of Lying”. To sum it up the people live in a world where they tell the blunt truth without any thought or knowledge of how not to. They’re programmed that way. One guy however formed the ability to say something that was not. In other words he was the only person in the world capable of telling a lie. Because everyone was programmed to tell the truth no matter what, everything that everyone ever said was taken at face value no matter how crazy or unbelievable it is.
So this got me to thinking on a few different levels. When people lie to someone they care about, is it for their own selfishness or is it because we want to spare the other persons feelings? For example, let’s say you’re in a relationship and you do something that would cause your significant other would leave if they ever found out. It can be anything from cheating to leaving your pubes in the shower. I don’t know how some peoples relationships work. Let's say you did whatever it is you weren't supposed to and that person asked you about it. What's your motivation for lying? I've heard both sides of the fence from ppl who believe that if you truly love and care about someone that you tell them the truth no matter how much it hurts because if it was really meant to be, love will conquer all and it will be. I've also heard the other side that believes you will lie to that person because you will do whatever it takes so that they won't leave you. I'll reserve judgement on which I think is correct or not, but I definitely understand where both sides are coming from. Just a thought
Also, would it be possible for any of you to go just a single day without telling a lie no matter the consequences. I honestly doubt I could do it for a few different reasons. For one, I’m likely to slack off at work and my manager will want to know why something isn’t done when it should be. At this point, instead of saying that I’m writing a blog that I’m going to post on facebook or that I’m more interested in this Bill Simmons column on espn.com, I’ll have to make up some bullshit answer to save my job or to avoid getting written up at least. Another reason is because I’m single and lying to random women is just a part of the game. I kid, I kid. But I’m going to let you all know that I plan on conducting a social experiment on myself where I have to tell the absolute truth no matter what. Maybe I’ll go for a day or so…maybe for a full week. I have no idea when I’m going to start the experiment and I’m probably not gonna let anybody know when I start because I don’t want them to ask me questions that may get their feelings hurt.
So this got me to thinking on a few different levels. When people lie to someone they care about, is it for their own selfishness or is it because we want to spare the other persons feelings? For example, let’s say you’re in a relationship and you do something that would cause your significant other would leave if they ever found out. It can be anything from cheating to leaving your pubes in the shower. I don’t know how some peoples relationships work. Let's say you did whatever it is you weren't supposed to and that person asked you about it. What's your motivation for lying? I've heard both sides of the fence from ppl who believe that if you truly love and care about someone that you tell them the truth no matter how much it hurts because if it was really meant to be, love will conquer all and it will be. I've also heard the other side that believes you will lie to that person because you will do whatever it takes so that they won't leave you. I'll reserve judgement on which I think is correct or not, but I definitely understand where both sides are coming from. Just a thought
Also, would it be possible for any of you to go just a single day without telling a lie no matter the consequences. I honestly doubt I could do it for a few different reasons. For one, I’m likely to slack off at work and my manager will want to know why something isn’t done when it should be. At this point, instead of saying that I’m writing a blog that I’m going to post on facebook or that I’m more interested in this Bill Simmons column on espn.com, I’ll have to make up some bullshit answer to save my job or to avoid getting written up at least. Another reason is because I’m single and lying to random women is just a part of the game. I kid, I kid. But I’m going to let you all know that I plan on conducting a social experiment on myself where I have to tell the absolute truth no matter what. Maybe I’ll go for a day or so…maybe for a full week. I have no idea when I’m going to start the experiment and I’m probably not gonna let anybody know when I start because I don’t want them to ask me questions that may get their feelings hurt.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
A Friendly Game
Good day, ladies and gentlemen. My brother reminded me today that I haven’t posted anything new up in a while so I thought I’d give you guys something good to discuss here today. This particular topic is something that I think most if not all of us can relate to; that of the dreaded friend zone. Personally I don’t have enough of an attention span to care too much about the friend zone. I can deal with it easily. If I’m digging you but the feeling isn’t mutual, maybe the next girl will. Hell, maybe your best friend will. Everybody isn’t as emotionless as me though, so I’m here venting on behalf of the people. I don’t think I’ve ever really put a girl into the friend zone unless she was somehow connected with someone whom I consider a close friend. Other than that, she’s fair game. But what I really want to know is what’s the point of the friend zone anyway? Shouldn’t you want to be with someone who you can just be yourself around without all the pressures of the romantic implications, or trying to impress them, etc? Shouldn’t you be friends first with somebody before you get too serious about them?
I think that more often than not, the friend zone doesn’t in actuality exist. Maybe one party feels that he or she will do something stupid to mess up what they have with the other person, so he/she will just put off the thought of being intimate with their friend because they would rather have them around in some form or another than not. It doesn’t change the fact that they think of each other as more than just friends though. If this weren’t true , and two people were in fact “just friends” then they wouldn’t do things that would make one believe that they want more. See, me and my friends don’t have tickle fights and give each other massages. They don’t get mad at me if I ignore them for another girl. We don’t get overly flirtatious when we get drunk. Friends throw up in your car. Friends have sex on your couch and don’t tell you about it until you sit down on that same couch. Friends take a piss in your nightstand…well at least mine do.
Originally I was going to do some kind of pseudo-advice post on how to get out of the friend zone, but I realized that I’d likely just copy and paste some random answers from a relationship blog. Instead, after intense consideration, I felt it best that one should embrace himself/herself in the friend zone. Personally, I don’t even see how someone could say they are “in love” with someone who they haven’t had any romantic interactions with (unless that other person is Beyonce), but that’s just me. If you truly are in like with your friend then you should probably let him/her know that. IF you happen to be rejected then don’t go into a hole and avoid this person because you are embarrassed at your failed vulnerability. Shit happens...so quit putting the pussy on a pedestal. Now, if you’ve been reading my posts for a while, you’ll know how I feel about having women around and how they can be a benefit to your potential success of picking up other women. Read it. Embrace it. Live by it.
What will happen once you reveal to your friend how you feel about them is that you will have planted a seed in their brains about your potential as a love interest. Once you have done that, move around. Don’t look at them as a potential love interest, and view them for what they are; just another friend. Stop going out with him/her on friendly dates and start going on real dates that you have picked up as a result of using your “just friend” as a wingman/woman. Treat him/her like a friend with benefits without the benefits. Maybe the friend will come around and realize that he/she is madly in love with you too. Probably not. If and when that doesn’t happen, it’s all good. At least you took a chance, and isn’t that what living is all about anyway?
I think that more often than not, the friend zone doesn’t in actuality exist. Maybe one party feels that he or she will do something stupid to mess up what they have with the other person, so he/she will just put off the thought of being intimate with their friend because they would rather have them around in some form or another than not. It doesn’t change the fact that they think of each other as more than just friends though. If this weren’t true , and two people were in fact “just friends” then they wouldn’t do things that would make one believe that they want more. See, me and my friends don’t have tickle fights and give each other massages. They don’t get mad at me if I ignore them for another girl. We don’t get overly flirtatious when we get drunk. Friends throw up in your car. Friends have sex on your couch and don’t tell you about it until you sit down on that same couch. Friends take a piss in your nightstand…well at least mine do.
Originally I was going to do some kind of pseudo-advice post on how to get out of the friend zone, but I realized that I’d likely just copy and paste some random answers from a relationship blog. Instead, after intense consideration, I felt it best that one should embrace himself/herself in the friend zone. Personally, I don’t even see how someone could say they are “in love” with someone who they haven’t had any romantic interactions with (unless that other person is Beyonce), but that’s just me. If you truly are in like with your friend then you should probably let him/her know that. IF you happen to be rejected then don’t go into a hole and avoid this person because you are embarrassed at your failed vulnerability. Shit happens...so quit putting the pussy on a pedestal. Now, if you’ve been reading my posts for a while, you’ll know how I feel about having women around and how they can be a benefit to your potential success of picking up other women. Read it. Embrace it. Live by it.
What will happen once you reveal to your friend how you feel about them is that you will have planted a seed in their brains about your potential as a love interest. Once you have done that, move around. Don’t look at them as a potential love interest, and view them for what they are; just another friend. Stop going out with him/her on friendly dates and start going on real dates that you have picked up as a result of using your “just friend” as a wingman/woman. Treat him/her like a friend with benefits without the benefits. Maybe the friend will come around and realize that he/she is madly in love with you too. Probably not. If and when that doesn’t happen, it’s all good. At least you took a chance, and isn’t that what living is all about anyway?
Thuggin Lovin
True Story: Me and my boys Whitey and V Mac were promoting for a party a while ago. So after the club let out we had a few flyers on us that we needed to get out. As Whitey and V Mac were out there hustling flyers they were at a crosswalk and some random chick approaches, so they give her the whole spill about the party and whatnot. Apparently the girl decides she doesn’t want to wait at the crosswalk anymore and walks out just as a car is passing by. Being the gentlemen that they are, V Mac and Whitey stop her from getting hit by the car. The girl then turns to them and instead of thanking them for saving her life, she says, “See this why I ain’t coming to yall party. Yall aint even HOOD enough!” I can’t make this shit up.
So this isn’t a new phenomenon or anything like that, but a recent news story about a young lady who was killed by her boyfriend that had a reputation of a thuggish nature prompted me to put my thoughts down about this subject. Apparently her family warned her about the dude, but she was persistent in standing by her man until the very end….literally. I personally never understood why, but women seem to like “thugs.” There’s a reason I put the word in quotes; because no woman really wants a real thug. They just want someone who dresses the part. If you ask a woman why she likes the thug type of a man, she’ll probably give you some bull shit answer about how she needs a real man that can handle a woman like her. See, they like the thug persona, but still expect the young man to open doors, be a gentleman, be able to hold intelligent conversations, and dress like an adult when he wants to (no, dressing like an adult does not include an eight-button Stacy Adams suit). You would probably expect an answer like this from a woman in high school or college, but unfortunately these are grown ass women coming up with these answers. True, perhaps while a young man is immature and portrays a "thuggish" appearance in high school or maybe even while an undergraduate in college, but is actually en route to becoming a productive adult, once the 25-30 year age limit has been reached, "thuggish" ways have pretty much set in. Upon deeper thinking and research, I think I’ve found the real reason why. Walk with me, people
The first reason I believe is because, as I’ve stated before, some women just love drama. They need it to breathe. For some, a man who works at Dell or State Farm just isn’t interesting enough. They need someone who is out there working on his music and is in the “trap.” This way when he makes it big, she can quit her job and spend all day shopping, and all night in the club popping bottles. Either way, the dude with the 9-5 is a little too square for her, and she’d probably become bored with him quickly. Apparently stability = boredom
The other reason goes a little deeper though. I truly believe some women have a false idea of what masculinity is; as if a dude that is hot tempered and overly aggressive proves his manhood because he won’t concede to anything. Because a real man don’t take no shit from nobody and goes out and handles his. Riiight...
Sadly these are the women who will have gotten played, heartbroken, burned, etc by these so called thugs, and they will be alone and miserable. They’ll get tired of the dude with no stability and will be looking to upgrade to one of the straight forward guys out there with a 401k. Eventually they will end up on an ABC special about why successful black women can’t find a successful black man. So to all my good guys out there, don’t sweat it. They say nice guys finish last, but at least they don't finish in prison or a coffin. If you’re trying to get at a chick and she claims to want a “thug” or that you're not hood enough, just let her go. Stop trying to save em…let them hoes get run over.
So this isn’t a new phenomenon or anything like that, but a recent news story about a young lady who was killed by her boyfriend that had a reputation of a thuggish nature prompted me to put my thoughts down about this subject. Apparently her family warned her about the dude, but she was persistent in standing by her man until the very end….literally. I personally never understood why, but women seem to like “thugs.” There’s a reason I put the word in quotes; because no woman really wants a real thug. They just want someone who dresses the part. If you ask a woman why she likes the thug type of a man, she’ll probably give you some bull shit answer about how she needs a real man that can handle a woman like her. See, they like the thug persona, but still expect the young man to open doors, be a gentleman, be able to hold intelligent conversations, and dress like an adult when he wants to (no, dressing like an adult does not include an eight-button Stacy Adams suit). You would probably expect an answer like this from a woman in high school or college, but unfortunately these are grown ass women coming up with these answers. True, perhaps while a young man is immature and portrays a "thuggish" appearance in high school or maybe even while an undergraduate in college, but is actually en route to becoming a productive adult, once the 25-30 year age limit has been reached, "thuggish" ways have pretty much set in. Upon deeper thinking and research, I think I’ve found the real reason why. Walk with me, people
The first reason I believe is because, as I’ve stated before, some women just love drama. They need it to breathe. For some, a man who works at Dell or State Farm just isn’t interesting enough. They need someone who is out there working on his music and is in the “trap.” This way when he makes it big, she can quit her job and spend all day shopping, and all night in the club popping bottles. Either way, the dude with the 9-5 is a little too square for her, and she’d probably become bored with him quickly. Apparently stability = boredom
The other reason goes a little deeper though. I truly believe some women have a false idea of what masculinity is; as if a dude that is hot tempered and overly aggressive proves his manhood because he won’t concede to anything. Because a real man don’t take no shit from nobody and goes out and handles his. Riiight...
Sadly these are the women who will have gotten played, heartbroken, burned, etc by these so called thugs, and they will be alone and miserable. They’ll get tired of the dude with no stability and will be looking to upgrade to one of the straight forward guys out there with a 401k. Eventually they will end up on an ABC special about why successful black women can’t find a successful black man. So to all my good guys out there, don’t sweat it. They say nice guys finish last, but at least they don't finish in prison or a coffin. If you’re trying to get at a chick and she claims to want a “thug” or that you're not hood enough, just let her go. Stop trying to save em…let them hoes get run over.
Say What's Real
I figure nobody else is working on a Friday afternoon, so I took time out of my busy schedule to write this post for you; brought to you by the guys at MyShoeBag...
If you ever want to start a shit storm of hate and ridiculousness on any random internet comments section, the magic word is “Obama”. I’ll readily admit that he isn’t doing an outstanding job as president, but he’s not performing badly either. The fact of the matter is that Americans are stupid. The age of the internet has gotten everyone used to a “results now” mentality. It just so happens that most of the shit that the Pres is dealing with is going to take years before we see any kind of real change or benefits to take place. I’m not going to sit here and rant on and on about his policies because I can’t sit here and say I know all about them. Talk to Ed for that, just make sure you’ve cleared your schedule because the talk will last for hours with him. I’m not really going to try and defend whether or not I think Obama is doing an ok job. I just want the people who go on these blogs and comment about how shitty of a job he’s doing and will go at all lengths to attack him to say what it is you really wanna say. I’m not saying go Remy from Higher Learning on anybody, but you all know what word I’m talking about: NIGGER! (there, I said it). Now, I’m not saying this applies to all criticism of black entertainers and Obama, but I think we can all agree that there is an unequal segment of the population that engages in this type of activity. If not, blacks and whites would receive equal criticism on all levels.
It’s no different whether it’s sports and entertainment or politics. When T.O or Chad Johnson (I’m not comfortable calling him Ochocinco) celebrate a touchdown, they’re selfish and aren’t team oriented. But when Jarad Allen celebrates a sack in just as an elaborate fashion, he’s just emotional and having some fun. I won’t even go in on how different the whole situation played out for Kobe vs. Ben Roethlisberger. Another example: nobody even blinked an eye at the congressman who physically attacked a student with a camera on the streets of DC the other day, but you better believe that if you go to any story about Kwame Kilpatrick , you’ll see people label him…well, that’s a bad example. That nigga is just a royal fuck up (What up, 6?). But you get what I’m saying. It’s one thing to not agree with a politician’s opinion on certain subjects. But to label him as a “socialist” (when you don’t even know what it means) or Kenyan, or a “freedom fighter” is a little overkill. To me, it’s like some of the people who make these claims in the comments section are simply expressing their racist urges, but satisfy their bigotry by replacing race with another made up quality, that they wouldn’t normally give to a white person.
That's just me though, please feel to say what's really on your mind for this comments section.
If you ever want to start a shit storm of hate and ridiculousness on any random internet comments section, the magic word is “Obama”. I’ll readily admit that he isn’t doing an outstanding job as president, but he’s not performing badly either. The fact of the matter is that Americans are stupid. The age of the internet has gotten everyone used to a “results now” mentality. It just so happens that most of the shit that the Pres is dealing with is going to take years before we see any kind of real change or benefits to take place. I’m not going to sit here and rant on and on about his policies because I can’t sit here and say I know all about them. Talk to Ed for that, just make sure you’ve cleared your schedule because the talk will last for hours with him. I’m not really going to try and defend whether or not I think Obama is doing an ok job. I just want the people who go on these blogs and comment about how shitty of a job he’s doing and will go at all lengths to attack him to say what it is you really wanna say. I’m not saying go Remy from Higher Learning on anybody, but you all know what word I’m talking about: NIGGER! (there, I said it). Now, I’m not saying this applies to all criticism of black entertainers and Obama, but I think we can all agree that there is an unequal segment of the population that engages in this type of activity. If not, blacks and whites would receive equal criticism on all levels.
It’s no different whether it’s sports and entertainment or politics. When T.O or Chad Johnson (I’m not comfortable calling him Ochocinco) celebrate a touchdown, they’re selfish and aren’t team oriented. But when Jarad Allen celebrates a sack in just as an elaborate fashion, he’s just emotional and having some fun. I won’t even go in on how different the whole situation played out for Kobe vs. Ben Roethlisberger. Another example: nobody even blinked an eye at the congressman who physically attacked a student with a camera on the streets of DC the other day, but you better believe that if you go to any story about Kwame Kilpatrick , you’ll see people label him…well, that’s a bad example. That nigga is just a royal fuck up (What up, 6?). But you get what I’m saying. It’s one thing to not agree with a politician’s opinion on certain subjects. But to label him as a “socialist” (when you don’t even know what it means) or Kenyan, or a “freedom fighter” is a little overkill. To me, it’s like some of the people who make these claims in the comments section are simply expressing their racist urges, but satisfy their bigotry by replacing race with another made up quality, that they wouldn’t normally give to a white person.
That's just me though, please feel to say what's really on your mind for this comments section.
Closed Mouth Don't Get Fed
If a dude is bored on a Friday night, chances are he’ll call one of his boys to see what’s up for the night. Is there anywhere they can go where there may be a chance of them picking up some new women at the bar/club? Because the only thing better than pu**y, is new pu**y. If that falls through, then he’ll likely scroll through his contact list to find someone who can get his rocks off real quick. It might not be something new, but it’s better than none. If that doesn’t work out, then chances are he’s probably just gonna pour up, possibly smoke on something, rub one out to soft core porn on Skinemax, and play Call of Duty until he falls asleep. It might not be as good an actual woman, but at least he doesn’t have to worry about having to think of a way to leave or get her out of his place when he’s done. This is the life of 95% of single men on weekends.
A woman, on the other hand, when bored on a Friday night will call some poor unsuspecting young man up, who thinks he has a chance to get some, and will coerce him into taking her to dinner. Not because she necessarily likes the guy, but simply because she wants something to eat and doesn’t want to pay for it herself. I’m warning all of the guys out there to please beware of the dinner whore. Urban Dictionary describes her as:
“A girl who is exclusively after a free meal or an expensive gift. She actively seeks out dates with well-off men who will wine and dine her at upscale restaurants. She is usually physically attractive enough to make the man fall for her feminine wiles. She will rarely have sex with these men until they spend a certain number of dollars on her. Nobody knows exactly what that number is, so the man keeps spending and spending, while the dinner whore keeps living it up.”
I will readily acknowledge that men use women too, but it’s totally different. When a man uses a woman, it’s likely for sex and little more than that. But if the woman keeps coming back for more sex then that more than likely means she’s getting some kind of enjoyment out of it too. In this case, everybody wins, so technically no one has done anything wrong. In the case of the dinner whore however, the guy has no idea he’s being used. In his mind since he’s taking her on all these dates, there must be something brewing here. He might start catching feelings. He might start following her to clubs in an unmarked car with pajamas on. Not that I’ve ever done that, but I’m saying it could happen to anybody.
The bad thing is, I can’t even place all the blame on the dinner whore. She’s just hustling as best as she knows how. Unfortunately, there remain simps out there in this world who will continue to pay and pay and pay for this woman’s company without even getting remotely close to any type of intercourse. Not even a rub and tug. So what do we regular guys do with all these gassed up women, who think their conversation alone is good enough to get a free meal out of us? Watch for the warning signs. Chances are, if after the second or third date, she hasn’t offered to pay up then she’s using you. If she only talks about herself and constantly refers to the expensive things she owns, then she is using you. If she constantly refers to herself as an “Independent Woman” then she’s using you. In the words of my boy V Mac, “If you have to say it, it ain’t true.” If she shows little interest in your life/work/interests/etc, then yes, she probably is using you. If you notice a pattern of the men she’s dated are something like: lawyer/doctor/athlete/rapper, but she’s a bartender, she’s probably just looking for somebody to trick some cash off on her. Side note: If SHE asks YOU to go out, then SHE should pay.
Don’t let these prostitute-lite women fool you. Here’s a little trick I learned from a wise man: when the bill comes, tell her you left your wallet in your other pants. The expression on her face will tell you all you need to know. If a woman is really into you, then she wouldn’t have a problem picking up the tab. A woman only there for a free meal will have a look on her face like someone just pissed in her Moscato.
If all else fails, just join the Hard on Hoes movement and save yourself a lot of headaches.
A woman, on the other hand, when bored on a Friday night will call some poor unsuspecting young man up, who thinks he has a chance to get some, and will coerce him into taking her to dinner. Not because she necessarily likes the guy, but simply because she wants something to eat and doesn’t want to pay for it herself. I’m warning all of the guys out there to please beware of the dinner whore. Urban Dictionary describes her as:
“A girl who is exclusively after a free meal or an expensive gift. She actively seeks out dates with well-off men who will wine and dine her at upscale restaurants. She is usually physically attractive enough to make the man fall for her feminine wiles. She will rarely have sex with these men until they spend a certain number of dollars on her. Nobody knows exactly what that number is, so the man keeps spending and spending, while the dinner whore keeps living it up.”
I will readily acknowledge that men use women too, but it’s totally different. When a man uses a woman, it’s likely for sex and little more than that. But if the woman keeps coming back for more sex then that more than likely means she’s getting some kind of enjoyment out of it too. In this case, everybody wins, so technically no one has done anything wrong. In the case of the dinner whore however, the guy has no idea he’s being used. In his mind since he’s taking her on all these dates, there must be something brewing here. He might start catching feelings. He might start following her to clubs in an unmarked car with pajamas on. Not that I’ve ever done that, but I’m saying it could happen to anybody.
The bad thing is, I can’t even place all the blame on the dinner whore. She’s just hustling as best as she knows how. Unfortunately, there remain simps out there in this world who will continue to pay and pay and pay for this woman’s company without even getting remotely close to any type of intercourse. Not even a rub and tug. So what do we regular guys do with all these gassed up women, who think their conversation alone is good enough to get a free meal out of us? Watch for the warning signs. Chances are, if after the second or third date, she hasn’t offered to pay up then she’s using you. If she only talks about herself and constantly refers to the expensive things she owns, then she is using you. If she constantly refers to herself as an “Independent Woman” then she’s using you. In the words of my boy V Mac, “If you have to say it, it ain’t true.” If she shows little interest in your life/work/interests/etc, then yes, she probably is using you. If you notice a pattern of the men she’s dated are something like: lawyer/doctor/athlete/rapper, but she’s a bartender, she’s probably just looking for somebody to trick some cash off on her. Side note: If SHE asks YOU to go out, then SHE should pay.
Don’t let these prostitute-lite women fool you. Here’s a little trick I learned from a wise man: when the bill comes, tell her you left your wallet in your other pants. The expression on her face will tell you all you need to know. If a woman is really into you, then she wouldn’t have a problem picking up the tab. A woman only there for a free meal will have a look on her face like someone just pissed in her Moscato.
If all else fails, just join the Hard on Hoes movement and save yourself a lot of headaches.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Why Did I Go See This Movie Too?
I first read that the new Tyler Perry movie ‘Why Did I Get Married Too’ was pretty bad on one of the random blog sites that I check daily when I should be working, but I just kinda blew it off as one man’s opinion. Then my roommate told me it really was that bad. I started to believe it, but he’s a cynic…and he’s White. Then another friend confirmed that all the opinions that I had heard about the movie were indeed true. There was one saving grace, however; the movie was so bad that it was actually entertaining. It was at that point that I knew I had to watch this movie. So that is what I did, but I did my best to have an objective opinion going in and not be swayed by what I’d heard about the movie so far. So I went into the theatre with an open mind and bag of gummi bears that weren’t bought at the movie theatre’s concession stand. These are the notes I jotted down in my Blackberry during the movie (some commentary was added afterwards):
Very First Scene – Who thought it was a good idea to bring in their niece and nephew to play the role of the kids in the movie? This was some of the worst child acting I had seen in a long time. Don’t Will and Jada have two kids that can act? I wouldn’t have even been mad if they put Dakota Fanning in Black Face and had her play one of the roles as opposed to this. Seriously, it was like they took two kids who couldn’t read really well in the first place, and they told them to read their lines from a teleprompter.
Matter of fact, the kids aren't the only actors in the first scene who let you know just how bad the acting is going to be. Were TP and his beautiful Blasian wife (who looked better with long hair) trained at the local elementary school? Could their facial expressions be any more exaggerated, laughter any faker, etc.???
**Note to Tyler Perry - This is a movie and not one of your stage productions or those plays you hear advertised on your local classic R&B stations ("Lawd, Why Did I Choose the Wrong Man Again" - Starring that one girl from that one-hit wonder song from that one year back in the day!).You’re welcome
Airport Scene – Why did they have to take Angela’s role as the angry black woman to new heights? We all know damn well she wouldn’t have been acting a complete fool like that in an airport. Security woulda been on her ass like Lindsay Lohan on a line of blow.
How do you manage to make Janet Jackson look so mediocre? She went from sex symbol to looking like someone's Big Mama real quick.
Why were all the men asking their wives if they could go hang out with the other men? Pull ya skirts down, B! Grow a set.
What’s up with the cinematography? This was by far my biggest gripe with the movie. Seriously, the movie looks like it was shot by an Everest College film student. Evidently there was actually someone who listened to that annoying ass guy on the commercials and got off the couch to assist in a shitty movie.
To drive my previous point home: There’s a scene when all the men were out at the beach chillin on the Jet Skis? I counted four times that the camera shot to Lamman Rucker (aka Jill Scott’s husband in the movie) and he didn’t say anything. I’ve heard of a reaction shot, but c’mon son!
It got so bad that I actually said “say something, nigga” out loud in the theatre.
20 minutes later, he finally did.
Overly dramatic beach scene with Lou Gossett and the go-to old-wise-black-lady Cicely Tyson , who has to be pushing at least 107 years old by now. The whole time it felt like Keenan Ivory Wayans should’ve popped up from the side and yelled “MESSAGE!” I guess Tyler Perry forgot to get the mailman costume.
Ok so now they head home where there were so many plot twists that I really don’t even remember what all happened. So it’s like I never should’ve went to this movie in the first place. I remember there was some unrealistic scene between Janet and the New York Undercover Cop which was just kinda all around creepy.
The dude who played Mike Tyson should have slapped the shit out of his wife by now.
Jane Jackson went ape shit and broke everything in the house that was made of glass, which pretty much equates to everything because we all know how much black folks love glass furniture, but she still has to live there. Smart, right? The rage of Papa Joe lives on.
Jill Scott’s husband caught her at her ex husband’s place and he snapped, but instead of checking his broad, he went after the other dude. So he lost all of the cool points that he had gained throughout the movie.
All the wives starting going up to their husband’s jobs and starting trouble. Ultimately it backfired in Janet Jackson’s face. The whole scene was just awkward and stuck out like my white roommate at a Tyler Perry movie. I won’t say what happened because I don’t wanna ruin it for the people who haven’t seen it yet, but I’ll just say she must have felt like a real bitch at that point.
The movie ended somehow with The Rock (yes, the wrestler) asking Janet Jackson out on a date, but the only thing that I was thinking was, “When did the The Rock turn 66?” Nigga looked like he was headed straight to the AARP office as soon as the director yelled cut.
Overall the movie was definitely entertaining to say the least, but not in a good way. More like in a-bad-car-accident-on-the-side-of-the-road kind of way. Despite the bad acting and overacting, and horrible cinematography, and plot twists, and Janet Jackson’s lack of appeal.....I’m trying to come up with a compliment here, but I’m drawing a blank. I never thought I’d see the day where one Tyler Perry movie could do injustice to another Tyler Perry movie.
Very First Scene – Who thought it was a good idea to bring in their niece and nephew to play the role of the kids in the movie? This was some of the worst child acting I had seen in a long time. Don’t Will and Jada have two kids that can act? I wouldn’t have even been mad if they put Dakota Fanning in Black Face and had her play one of the roles as opposed to this. Seriously, it was like they took two kids who couldn’t read really well in the first place, and they told them to read their lines from a teleprompter.
Matter of fact, the kids aren't the only actors in the first scene who let you know just how bad the acting is going to be. Were TP and his beautiful Blasian wife (who looked better with long hair) trained at the local elementary school? Could their facial expressions be any more exaggerated, laughter any faker, etc.???
**Note to Tyler Perry - This is a movie and not one of your stage productions or those plays you hear advertised on your local classic R&B stations ("Lawd, Why Did I Choose the Wrong Man Again" - Starring that one girl from that one-hit wonder song from that one year back in the day!).You’re welcome
Airport Scene – Why did they have to take Angela’s role as the angry black woman to new heights? We all know damn well she wouldn’t have been acting a complete fool like that in an airport. Security woulda been on her ass like Lindsay Lohan on a line of blow.
How do you manage to make Janet Jackson look so mediocre? She went from sex symbol to looking like someone's Big Mama real quick.
Why were all the men asking their wives if they could go hang out with the other men? Pull ya skirts down, B! Grow a set.
What’s up with the cinematography? This was by far my biggest gripe with the movie. Seriously, the movie looks like it was shot by an Everest College film student. Evidently there was actually someone who listened to that annoying ass guy on the commercials and got off the couch to assist in a shitty movie.
To drive my previous point home: There’s a scene when all the men were out at the beach chillin on the Jet Skis? I counted four times that the camera shot to Lamman Rucker (aka Jill Scott’s husband in the movie) and he didn’t say anything. I’ve heard of a reaction shot, but c’mon son!
It got so bad that I actually said “say something, nigga” out loud in the theatre.
20 minutes later, he finally did.
Overly dramatic beach scene with Lou Gossett and the go-to old-wise-black-lady Cicely Tyson , who has to be pushing at least 107 years old by now. The whole time it felt like Keenan Ivory Wayans should’ve popped up from the side and yelled “MESSAGE!” I guess Tyler Perry forgot to get the mailman costume.
Ok so now they head home where there were so many plot twists that I really don’t even remember what all happened. So it’s like I never should’ve went to this movie in the first place. I remember there was some unrealistic scene between Janet and the New York Undercover Cop which was just kinda all around creepy.
The dude who played Mike Tyson should have slapped the shit out of his wife by now.
Jane Jackson went ape shit and broke everything in the house that was made of glass, which pretty much equates to everything because we all know how much black folks love glass furniture, but she still has to live there. Smart, right? The rage of Papa Joe lives on.
Jill Scott’s husband caught her at her ex husband’s place and he snapped, but instead of checking his broad, he went after the other dude. So he lost all of the cool points that he had gained throughout the movie.
All the wives starting going up to their husband’s jobs and starting trouble. Ultimately it backfired in Janet Jackson’s face. The whole scene was just awkward and stuck out like my white roommate at a Tyler Perry movie. I won’t say what happened because I don’t wanna ruin it for the people who haven’t seen it yet, but I’ll just say she must have felt like a real bitch at that point.
The movie ended somehow with The Rock (yes, the wrestler) asking Janet Jackson out on a date, but the only thing that I was thinking was, “When did the The Rock turn 66?” Nigga looked like he was headed straight to the AARP office as soon as the director yelled cut.
Overall the movie was definitely entertaining to say the least, but not in a good way. More like in a-bad-car-accident-on-the-side-of-the-road kind of way. Despite the bad acting and overacting, and horrible cinematography, and plot twists, and Janet Jackson’s lack of appeal.....I’m trying to come up with a compliment here, but I’m drawing a blank. I never thought I’d see the day where one Tyler Perry movie could do injustice to another Tyler Perry movie.
DONM: Death of Nicki Minaj
Seeing as how I try to avoid BET programming at all costs, I can’t confirm this completely, but I was reading allhiphop.com and a discussion thread stated that one of the hosts on 106 & Park compared Nicki Minaj to Janet Jackson or referred to her as the Janet Jackson of our generation. Please take a moment to shake your head in utter disappointment. I don’t know if this just intensifies my dislike for Nicki Minaj and BET or if it solidifies how dumb and apparently deaf the vast majority of music listeners under the age of 22 are. I’ve never really been much a fan of any female rapper ever. Much like the WNBA and golf it is another area where the male comparison is supremely better and more entertaining. With that being said, I can’t deny that I’ve nodded my head to a few tracks and have given props to some femcees in the game for spitting a hot 16 or two. This Nicki Minaj broad however is just plain annoying. I might go to hell for saying this, but this bitch just needs to die already. She used to be cute until she started cutting up her face with all that plastic surgery. Not to say I still wouldn’t do some things to her, but in all reality that ain’t saying much. She pretty much swagger jacked Lil Kim’s whole Barbie persona, but she’s not as entertaining as Kim once was. And I’m not sure who told her those little voice inflections that she does when she raps is cool or appealing, but it is most definitely not. It’s weird and it makes my ears bleed.
It makes me angrier because I don’t want to be considered a hater. But I have to accept the fact that I do indeed hate Nicki Minaj. I would gladly listen to Wocka Flocka Flame for the rest of my life if I no longer had to hear her voice. I don’t even listen to the radio, and I could always just turn the channel when a video of hers comes on TV, but the thing is since she’s the “hot” trend right now, she’ll be featured on other people’s albums. She was on the last Robin Thicke joint and the new Ursha. I wouldn’t be surprised if half of the major upcoming releases have her featured on a track. So I have to accept the fact that she’s probably gonna be around for at least another year or so until the industry gets tired of her.
So can you all do me a favor out there? Please refrain from supporting her if at all possible. Don’t request her songs (do people still call into radio stations?). If you hear her on the radio, turn the dial. If her song comes on in a club, stop dancing. If you see her on BET, slap yourself for still watching BET (unless of course you’re watching the BlackBuster Movie of the Week). That is all. I should probably get back to work now.
It makes me angrier because I don’t want to be considered a hater. But I have to accept the fact that I do indeed hate Nicki Minaj. I would gladly listen to Wocka Flocka Flame for the rest of my life if I no longer had to hear her voice. I don’t even listen to the radio, and I could always just turn the channel when a video of hers comes on TV, but the thing is since she’s the “hot” trend right now, she’ll be featured on other people’s albums. She was on the last Robin Thicke joint and the new Ursha. I wouldn’t be surprised if half of the major upcoming releases have her featured on a track. So I have to accept the fact that she’s probably gonna be around for at least another year or so until the industry gets tired of her.
So can you all do me a favor out there? Please refrain from supporting her if at all possible. Don’t request her songs (do people still call into radio stations?). If you hear her on the radio, turn the dial. If her song comes on in a club, stop dancing. If you see her on BET, slap yourself for still watching BET (unless of course you’re watching the BlackBuster Movie of the Week). That is all. I should probably get back to work now.
Trick Please
So being a sponsor is what’s hot these days? No, I’m not talking about donating money to a little league team or anything like that. I’m talking about dudes giving money, gifts, favors, etc. to women just for the hell of it. Now to the unknowing person it would seem that any man doing this for a woman has some kind of relationship with her whether it is a close friend, a deep emotional connection or purely sexual. I always knew there were simps out there who did what they had to do to get theirs. I have no problem with these guys, but this is a little ridiculous. See, I had a friend of mine tell me that some guy paid one or some of her bills so I just assumed that she had a sugar daddy on the side that helped her out from time to time. Come to find out, there is a difference between a sugar daddy and a sponsor. Apparently sugar daddies get sex, but sponsors pretty much know that they get nothing in return. Huh? Where they do that at? And before we go any further, despite what your favorite rapper told you, it is in fact tricking even if you do have it. Its one thing to know that sponsoring is something that happens, but now dudes are promoting it. If you haven’t heard, Tierra Marie has a song out with the two of the greatest lyricists to ever touch the mic, Souljaboy and Gucci Mane, appropriately titled “Sponsor.” No, I haven’t heard the song so I can’t tell you if it is catchy or not. I’m only speaking about the message that this song is sending out. It was always my impression that when dudes were tricking their money, even if they got something in return, it wasn’t an action that was glorified.
It’s understandable for women or any recipient of said sponsorship to be in favor of it, so maybe I’m just speaking from pure jealousy here because I don’t have one, but what is the point of being one of these sponsors? Is it because some of these guys have extra disposable income and they just want to make someone’s life easier? Could be, but I’m fairly certain that these are probably the same guys who don’t donate money to any local charities or homeless people. Maybe it’s to have some kind of control over their recipients in case they ever need a favor from them. I’m absolutely stumped. Not because I’m cheap, which I don’t think that I am. And it’s not because I’m selfish even though I definitely am. I don’t understand it because I always assumed that you never give or get something for nothing. I’m gonna stop now before these random women say that I’m blocking and what not…just had to jot this random thought down real quick.
It’s understandable for women or any recipient of said sponsorship to be in favor of it, so maybe I’m just speaking from pure jealousy here because I don’t have one, but what is the point of being one of these sponsors? Is it because some of these guys have extra disposable income and they just want to make someone’s life easier? Could be, but I’m fairly certain that these are probably the same guys who don’t donate money to any local charities or homeless people. Maybe it’s to have some kind of control over their recipients in case they ever need a favor from them. I’m absolutely stumped. Not because I’m cheap, which I don’t think that I am. And it’s not because I’m selfish even though I definitely am. I don’t understand it because I always assumed that you never give or get something for nothing. I’m gonna stop now before these random women say that I’m blocking and what not…just had to jot this random thought down real quick.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Be Easy
In case you were never aware of a late breaking sociological study, women love to argue. They love drama, and they can’t survive without it. This is the same reason why women will befriend someone who they tell their other friends that they can’t stand, and constantly talk about this person behind their back. It’s the same reason why women will enter and continue a relationship that has no benefit whatsoever to them. She doesn’t even have to really even like the other guy that much, but because there’s drama involved, she will stay. I don’t know if it’s for pure entertainment or what. Let’s say you have a group of guys riding in the car having a discussion. One guy gets out. What happens next? The remaining guys will move on to the next subject or whatever catcher their attention next. Now replace those guys with women. If one gets out of the car, there’s a much higher chance that one of the remaining women in the car will have something sassy or unappealing to say about the person who just exited the vehicle. When the next one gets out she will then call the first person who got out and inform her of what the other two people in the car said about her. And the cycle of drama continues. If you weren’t aware, women even have the powers to turn compliments into insults. Everyday in America some woman asks her man how she looks in some random outfit. If the guy says “It’s straight” or “it’s cool” then the outfit isn’t good enough and he thinks she’s ugly and fat. God forbid that the guy pauses before he answers. The crazy thing is even if he says, “You look gorgeous. You are the most beautiful woman in the world.” She will reply with “That’s not true…tell me what you really think!” Now she doesn’t believe you, and everything you ever told her up to this point in the relationship has been a lie.
The easiest solution would be to just take a break from women, but unfortunately for men, we all have a temptation that we can’t shake. No, it’s not a woman herself ; it’s her vagina. And the woman has to come as part of a package deal. So how are we as men supposed to deal with these drama loving beings until the end of time? You can’t just simply not argue with them. One way or another they will pull you in. Women, for some reason (read: no logic implied), believe that if her man won’t argue with her that he isn’t passionate about the relationship and that he doesn’t care enough. If a woman gets this notion enough, she will eventually take her vagina away from you, and we can’t have that now can we? So for the fellas out there, here are a few ways that you can minimize the arguing between you and the woman in your life.
First of all, pick your beef. She may get on some crazy soapbox about something that pisses you off, but don’t engage in an all out scream-fest unless it’s something you are truly passionate about. Like if she wants to watch Grey’s Anatomy, but you haven’t reached your checkpoint on Call of Duty yet. Understand that it is in a woman’s DNA to fight for dumb shit. Yeah it’s just as easy for her to put the toilet seat back up after she finishes so that you don’t have to keep lifting it up over and over again, but let her have that one. If you’re gonna fight, make sure it’s worth the time and whatever after affects it may have down the road.
Think AGAIN before you talk. Have you ever been in an argument with a woman, and as soon as she made a comment you were able to counter it with quick thinking and a great comeback that pretty much shut the whole conversation down? Next time, don’t do that. Now you’re not just the bad guy, but you’re the bad guy who’s an asshole who doesn’t consider her feelings. Women are trained to believe that they are always right, and to crush them with sheer logical thought is the biggest insult a man can ever give to a woman. Instead of throwing a verbal haymaker into the argument, say it with an upward inflection that sounds like a question. This way she can answer it and believe that it was her who resolved the problem. She wins because she can now tell all of her friends how she “won” the argument. You win because you get to finish watching the game.
Lastly, I would advise that you never fully engage in the argument in the first place if you don’t have to. Just nod and smile and agree with her. Just don’t make it seem phony. Say “you right” (see how it works here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olGq3TOs174&feature=related ) about 6 or 7 times and it’ll be over before you know it. But be careful to avoid these two common mistakes. Never apologize and never admit you were wrong unless you have no other choice. It will come back to haunt you in the future. Saying “sorry” is an admission of guilt. Therefore say something along the lines of “I’m sorry if by me doing ______ you feel _____.” As I’ve told others before, I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong. Pretty much everything I do is based on a logical decision where I’ve evaluated the consequences and made the appropriate actions based on that logic. Sometimes it’s drunk logic. Sometimes it’s angry logic. But it was always the right decision at the time.
That’s all I can do to help you guys for now. The only other solution would be to find a woman who doesn’t feed off drama and argue for no apparent reason. And if you’ve already found her, see if she has a sister for me.
The easiest solution would be to just take a break from women, but unfortunately for men, we all have a temptation that we can’t shake. No, it’s not a woman herself ; it’s her vagina. And the woman has to come as part of a package deal. So how are we as men supposed to deal with these drama loving beings until the end of time? You can’t just simply not argue with them. One way or another they will pull you in. Women, for some reason (read: no logic implied), believe that if her man won’t argue with her that he isn’t passionate about the relationship and that he doesn’t care enough. If a woman gets this notion enough, she will eventually take her vagina away from you, and we can’t have that now can we? So for the fellas out there, here are a few ways that you can minimize the arguing between you and the woman in your life.
First of all, pick your beef. She may get on some crazy soapbox about something that pisses you off, but don’t engage in an all out scream-fest unless it’s something you are truly passionate about. Like if she wants to watch Grey’s Anatomy, but you haven’t reached your checkpoint on Call of Duty yet. Understand that it is in a woman’s DNA to fight for dumb shit. Yeah it’s just as easy for her to put the toilet seat back up after she finishes so that you don’t have to keep lifting it up over and over again, but let her have that one. If you’re gonna fight, make sure it’s worth the time and whatever after affects it may have down the road.
Think AGAIN before you talk. Have you ever been in an argument with a woman, and as soon as she made a comment you were able to counter it with quick thinking and a great comeback that pretty much shut the whole conversation down? Next time, don’t do that. Now you’re not just the bad guy, but you’re the bad guy who’s an asshole who doesn’t consider her feelings. Women are trained to believe that they are always right, and to crush them with sheer logical thought is the biggest insult a man can ever give to a woman. Instead of throwing a verbal haymaker into the argument, say it with an upward inflection that sounds like a question. This way she can answer it and believe that it was her who resolved the problem. She wins because she can now tell all of her friends how she “won” the argument. You win because you get to finish watching the game.
Lastly, I would advise that you never fully engage in the argument in the first place if you don’t have to. Just nod and smile and agree with her. Just don’t make it seem phony. Say “you right” (see how it works here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olGq3TOs174&feature=related ) about 6 or 7 times and it’ll be over before you know it. But be careful to avoid these two common mistakes. Never apologize and never admit you were wrong unless you have no other choice. It will come back to haunt you in the future. Saying “sorry” is an admission of guilt. Therefore say something along the lines of “I’m sorry if by me doing ______ you feel _____.” As I’ve told others before, I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong. Pretty much everything I do is based on a logical decision where I’ve evaluated the consequences and made the appropriate actions based on that logic. Sometimes it’s drunk logic. Sometimes it’s angry logic. But it was always the right decision at the time.
That’s all I can do to help you guys for now. The only other solution would be to find a woman who doesn’t feed off drama and argue for no apparent reason. And if you’ve already found her, see if she has a sister for me.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Get Off Your High Tower, Steve
How did we get to the point where women are so hard pressed to find and keep a man that they will go to extremes to make it happen? European women are notorious for spending tens of thousands of dollars making trips back and forth to see men who are in prison for life and some that are on death row. They pour lots money into their commissary, and for what? It’s not like there’s much more you can do other than read and write a few letters, and have a monitored conversation. Do conjugal visits even exist anymore? I highly doubt that these dudes have wills to leave behind to the women either. Not because of legal reasons or anything, I just figure most convicted murderers and rapists don’t have an estate to leave behind to loved ones. I don’t know how repulsive or diseased ridden a woman has to be to stoop to this kind of level to get attention from a man, but damn…there are a lot of dudes out there that will do anything for piece of ass.
American women have taken it one step further. They have resulted into getting relationship advice from the one and only Steve Harvey. Yes the nigga with the 7 button suits…yeah, the guy who was still rocking the same flat box cut for the past 26 years before he finally cut it off a few months ago. The same guy who needs to resort back to that box cut because being bald is not working for him at all. It takes a special kind of man to pull it off. It’s just not for everyone (that goes for you too, Mario).
It’s not like it’s new news that Steve Harvey wrote a book titled “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man.” It actually was number one on the New York Times best seller list. For that I applaud Steve. No hatred over here for the dude making some extra cash and getting some recognition. What I have a problem with is whoever told him he was a relationship guru. It should probably be noted that he’s on his third marriage. Doesn’t a woman reading his book equate to a woman taking advice from her lonely bitter friend who can’t keep a man, but tells her everything that is wrong in her relationship. Isn’t he more qualified to write a book called “Third Time Is The Charm: What To Do When You’ve Fucked Up Two Marriages”? I’m sorry, Steve, but just because you gave Romeo and Bullethead some fatherly advice every once in a while doesn’t entitle you to tell any woman what she needs to do in her relationship. It took him like 7 seasons to finally close on Regina. What’s next? Are we gonna start hangin with Mr. Cooper to tell us how to raise kids?
Really, how much can you put in a book telling a woman to think like a man? Think logically. The End. I’m also kinda pissed off that he would write a book telling women to think like men in the first place. If your woman can think like you that means you can’t get away with shit, because she’s already a step ahead of you. Thanks for telling all the locker room secrets, Kobe. I personally don’t see what any woman can really gain from reading a book about relationships. For one, half of the women who read the book probably dropped out of some sort of school at some point in their life. Just in my professional opinion, I don’t think they are going to take anything written in a book and be able to apply it. I’m just sayin. Now I didn’t read the book, but I think I can make an accurate assessment of it: men tend to exhibit a certain type of behavior so if a woman wants to keep her man she should acknowledge and respect it as such. Probably not spot on, but it’s somewhere in that area. I really don’t think relationship books in general are meant to be taken seriously. I’m sure they can make for a great conversation piece between friends and/or couples. But if anyone is so down on their love life, wondering why things never work out and is looking to one of those books for serious advice, please stop…put the book down…get in your car…and drive to the nearest therapist. You need more than a book to help you out. Matter of fact, instead of spending the $20 on the book, give me the money and I’ll tell you what the problem is. Seriously. Maybe I should write a book on why people shouldn’t read books. The funny thing is I think it could actually work
American women have taken it one step further. They have resulted into getting relationship advice from the one and only Steve Harvey. Yes the nigga with the 7 button suits…yeah, the guy who was still rocking the same flat box cut for the past 26 years before he finally cut it off a few months ago. The same guy who needs to resort back to that box cut because being bald is not working for him at all. It takes a special kind of man to pull it off. It’s just not for everyone (that goes for you too, Mario).
It’s not like it’s new news that Steve Harvey wrote a book titled “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man.” It actually was number one on the New York Times best seller list. For that I applaud Steve. No hatred over here for the dude making some extra cash and getting some recognition. What I have a problem with is whoever told him he was a relationship guru. It should probably be noted that he’s on his third marriage. Doesn’t a woman reading his book equate to a woman taking advice from her lonely bitter friend who can’t keep a man, but tells her everything that is wrong in her relationship. Isn’t he more qualified to write a book called “Third Time Is The Charm: What To Do When You’ve Fucked Up Two Marriages”? I’m sorry, Steve, but just because you gave Romeo and Bullethead some fatherly advice every once in a while doesn’t entitle you to tell any woman what she needs to do in her relationship. It took him like 7 seasons to finally close on Regina. What’s next? Are we gonna start hangin with Mr. Cooper to tell us how to raise kids?
Really, how much can you put in a book telling a woman to think like a man? Think logically. The End. I’m also kinda pissed off that he would write a book telling women to think like men in the first place. If your woman can think like you that means you can’t get away with shit, because she’s already a step ahead of you. Thanks for telling all the locker room secrets, Kobe. I personally don’t see what any woman can really gain from reading a book about relationships. For one, half of the women who read the book probably dropped out of some sort of school at some point in their life. Just in my professional opinion, I don’t think they are going to take anything written in a book and be able to apply it. I’m just sayin. Now I didn’t read the book, but I think I can make an accurate assessment of it: men tend to exhibit a certain type of behavior so if a woman wants to keep her man she should acknowledge and respect it as such. Probably not spot on, but it’s somewhere in that area. I really don’t think relationship books in general are meant to be taken seriously. I’m sure they can make for a great conversation piece between friends and/or couples. But if anyone is so down on their love life, wondering why things never work out and is looking to one of those books for serious advice, please stop…put the book down…get in your car…and drive to the nearest therapist. You need more than a book to help you out. Matter of fact, instead of spending the $20 on the book, give me the money and I’ll tell you what the problem is. Seriously. Maybe I should write a book on why people shouldn’t read books. The funny thing is I think it could actually work
Friday, February 12, 2010
The Defense of John Mayer
Yes you read that right. The DEFENSE of John Mayer. Every time a white guy goes on TV or gives an interview and says something concerning race he is looked at as being racist. More often than not that is the case. But sometimes people can be trying to prove a point but it just comes out wrong, who can say that’s never happened to them. Personally, I was never offended with the Don Imus comments. If we’re gonna keep it real, them hoes WAS nappy headed. Now KKKramer on the other hand, there was just no excuse for that. Say “nigger” once and maybe you’re a comedian bringing home a joke who’s bold enough to say the word. Say it twenty times while referencing lynching and Jim Crow laws, and we have a problem on our hands. Then Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton come out to play, and we all know they are here to save black people right? Right?
I, for one, thought his interview with Playboy was kind of funny. I find it very entertaining for someone to push the envelope and make people uncomfortable as long as it doesn’t get offensive. And his interview wasn’t offensive in the least bit. Not to me it wasn’t. I think if we all take a look at the controversial quotes from the interview, we’ll all agree that it wasn’t that bad.
When asked about his 2006-07 relationship with Jessica Simpson:
That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me... Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm...
There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, "I want to quit my life and just fuckin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.
I just thought this was funny as hell. But seriously moving on to the more controversial parts of the interview….
PLAYBOY: If you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?
MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.
PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.
PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.
MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.
So let’s jump right into it here and start off with his use of the N-Word. Just from reading the interview as a whole, it’s quite obvious that dude was drunk, high, or both at the time. Don’t let the word control all of your emotions and think about what he’s saying for a second. See if John Mayer really had a hood pass, saying the word nigger wouldn’t be a problem in the first place. Granted he never should've said it, but what's done is done. He’s saying that he can’t be given a hood pass, for one, because he can’t really identify with the bullshit people from the hood actually have to go through. I think he’s trying to denounce the use of the term “hood pass” because technically if you have one, there’s no need for one. Does a hood pass automatically turn white people into honorary black people or something?
I’m not sure how this answer of saying what it means to be black relates to any of the questions he was asked, but he does have a point (whatever that may be). If you ask me what being black is, I couldn’t give you a definitive answer. Either way, I don’t see the problem with what he said here. Maybe having more famous rapper friends than me allows him to give his perspective on black people and people will actually give a shit, or at least pretend like they do. The only rapper friends I have are the ones who didn’t get a job after they left school and figured they could get a Casio keyboard and a mic and make some “music” in the empty room of their parent’s house. Silly negroes. Moving on…
Finishing this off in regards to his comments about having black women throw themselves at him, again I understand what the guy is getting at. I can identify with what he’s saying. I’m not against dating white women, but it just doesn’t seem to work out that way…ever. As far as having a white supremacist penis goes, you gotta give the guy some kind of props for the comic relief. If we move on to his reference of Kerry Washington being “white girl crazy” I mean take a really good look at her, I see exactly what he’s talking about. I could actually see her saying some off the wall shit like that.
With that said, I don’t think for one second John Mayer is racist. I think he’s a white boy who got a little drunk and a little too comfortable and fucked up. Shit happens. But seriously, don’t let it happen again Johnny Boy. Anybody care to weigh in? Do you think John Mayer is racist? Are you offended by what he said?
I, for one, thought his interview with Playboy was kind of funny. I find it very entertaining for someone to push the envelope and make people uncomfortable as long as it doesn’t get offensive. And his interview wasn’t offensive in the least bit. Not to me it wasn’t. I think if we all take a look at the controversial quotes from the interview, we’ll all agree that it wasn’t that bad.
When asked about his 2006-07 relationship with Jessica Simpson:
That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me... Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm...
There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, "I want to quit my life and just fuckin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.
I just thought this was funny as hell. But seriously moving on to the more controversial parts of the interview….
PLAYBOY: If you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?
MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.
PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.
PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.
MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.
So let’s jump right into it here and start off with his use of the N-Word. Just from reading the interview as a whole, it’s quite obvious that dude was drunk, high, or both at the time. Don’t let the word control all of your emotions and think about what he’s saying for a second. See if John Mayer really had a hood pass, saying the word nigger wouldn’t be a problem in the first place. Granted he never should've said it, but what's done is done. He’s saying that he can’t be given a hood pass, for one, because he can’t really identify with the bullshit people from the hood actually have to go through. I think he’s trying to denounce the use of the term “hood pass” because technically if you have one, there’s no need for one. Does a hood pass automatically turn white people into honorary black people or something?
I’m not sure how this answer of saying what it means to be black relates to any of the questions he was asked, but he does have a point (whatever that may be). If you ask me what being black is, I couldn’t give you a definitive answer. Either way, I don’t see the problem with what he said here. Maybe having more famous rapper friends than me allows him to give his perspective on black people and people will actually give a shit, or at least pretend like they do. The only rapper friends I have are the ones who didn’t get a job after they left school and figured they could get a Casio keyboard and a mic and make some “music” in the empty room of their parent’s house. Silly negroes. Moving on…
Finishing this off in regards to his comments about having black women throw themselves at him, again I understand what the guy is getting at. I can identify with what he’s saying. I’m not against dating white women, but it just doesn’t seem to work out that way…ever. As far as having a white supremacist penis goes, you gotta give the guy some kind of props for the comic relief. If we move on to his reference of Kerry Washington being “white girl crazy” I mean take a really good look at her, I see exactly what he’s talking about. I could actually see her saying some off the wall shit like that.
With that said, I don’t think for one second John Mayer is racist. I think he’s a white boy who got a little drunk and a little too comfortable and fucked up. Shit happens. But seriously, don’t let it happen again Johnny Boy. Anybody care to weigh in? Do you think John Mayer is racist? Are you offended by what he said?
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