“Sisters get respect, bitches get what they deserve…sisters work hard, bitches work your nerves.”
-Jay-Z
These are some of the truest words ever spoken. Shout out to the big homie. I was motivated to write this post after having a few drinks with my brother, my line brother and his girl. Somewhere in the conversation my brother used the word “bitch” referring to some young lady. Then my boy’s girl got offended and said something along the lines of “why she gotta be a bitch?” Well the answer was quite simple. He called her a bitch because apparently she acted like…a bitch. In my personal opinion, he didn’t say anything wrong. Now I don’t condone calling a woman out of her name just for the sheer pleasure of it. Like if you’re out and you try to talk to a woman, and she turns you down so you turn around and call her a bitch. That’s just wrong and immature. Depending on your level of drunkenness it can be funny, but it’s still wrong nonetheless.
I’m the type of person who likes to call it like I see it. So if a woman is walking around with a bad attitude for absolutely no reason, seems to believe that the world revolves around her, and just has an overall horrible personality and an unfavorable demeanor, well then I’m not gonna feel bad for calling her exactly what she is. Not saying that there aren’t some men who are just blatantly disrespectful and are perfectly fine with that. But don’t assume that just because a man uses that word, that he’s some kind of misogynist. I believe that if a woman carries herself well and deserves respect, that’s what I will give her. Otherwise, why bother? So ladies, next time you hear a man use the word out somewhere, don’t get offended, until you know his reasoning for using it.
Another instance where one may let the dreaded B word slip out is in casual conversation when referring to a random young lady. I have a theory as to why so many men do this on a daily basis. If you are around women who continually refer to each other as “bitch,” well then eventually this will become a part of your everyday vocabulary. Soooo…it’s kinda your fault, ladies. Plus you know the old saying: “If all men are dogs, then all women are bitches”
Too far? Oh well…cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
Questions? Comments? Where my bitches at?
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Get Real...Part 3
Here at MyShogBag, we touch on many different subjects, but we must say behind the humor of each subject there is a truth and seriousness. Now in this particular instance, the one thing that bothers us is the misuse of the word "Ghetto". A ghetto is a portion of a city in which the underprivileged (minorities) live due to the social, legal, or economic pressures. Hence in the English language this classifies the word "Ghetto" as a noun; a person, place, or thing. So let's get it RIGHT people.
So let’s discuss how the context of the word has been used incorrectly. One thing that grinds our gears is when people (mostly our friends with less pigment) use "ghetto" or "urban" as an adjective. We feel as though these words are just being used interchangeably with the words "black people". So let us all become enlightened. Anyone can "LIVE" in the "GHETTO". Hence, you have heard of a Jewish Ghetto, Black Ghetto, Mexican Ghetto, etc.
So the next time your hear Britney and Becky say “OH EM GEE!...That’s so ghetto,” take her ass to the real hood and let Pookie and nem show that bitch what the real definition of ghetto is.
So let’s discuss how the context of the word has been used incorrectly. One thing that grinds our gears is when people (mostly our friends with less pigment) use "ghetto" or "urban" as an adjective. We feel as though these words are just being used interchangeably with the words "black people". So let us all become enlightened. Anyone can "LIVE" in the "GHETTO". Hence, you have heard of a Jewish Ghetto, Black Ghetto, Mexican Ghetto, etc.
So the next time your hear Britney and Becky say “OH EM GEE!...That’s so ghetto,” take her ass to the real hood and let Pookie and nem show that bitch what the real definition of ghetto is.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Negro Please
For those of you who don't know who Michael Steele is, he's the first black head of the Republican National Committee. But not even Carlton Banks stooped this low for the Republican Party. When I first heard that a black man was the head of the GOP, I tried not to write it off as another Uncle Tom shucking and jiving fo’ massah. I tried to think positive; maybe this “brother” will be able to bring diversity to the group and change the way the GOP think about black people. Maybe he’ll show the younger generation that they don’t have to vote Democrat just because they are black. Damn, was I wrong about this guy. This is the house slave that told the master when the field slaves were taking a break instead of working. I didn’t even know such coonery existed on a high level like this. It’s bad enough we have the kings of all coons, Soulja Boy and Plies, lurking at every corner, but aren’t people with law degrees supposed to be smarter than them. I somewhat respected the dude for having the balls to stand up for affirmative action despite being the RNC chairman. I almost felt sorry for him when I read that, during a debate, a gang of Oreo cookies that were handed out as a snack, somehow had found their way over to his desk and had been rolled at his feet during the debate (true story). Not anymore. Not after watching this video.
http://wonkette.com/409846/michael-steele-to-woo-black-people-with-certain-food-items.
Now again, for the lazy people who don’t watch the video, I will sum this up. A blogger asks Michael Steele how he plans to get more of a diverse population in the Republican Party. He answers that he’ll just ask them to come out as they already have and continue to invite them. Some fool in the background then yells “I’ll bring the collard greens.” Instead of ignoring the dude or hitting him with a witty comeback, Steele replies, “I’ll bring the fried chicken and potato salad.” Nigga what? You disloyal, fool ass, bitch-made punk. I had to stop the video after that, so I didn’t see if he went into a tap dance rendition towards the end or not. He should be sharp enough to know when he is being ridiculed. For God’s sake he’s a black Republican. He’s probably heard more “nigger” jokes and “chitlin” jokes than anybody I’ve ever known. I’m not saying to go Ike Turner and whoop the dude’s ass, but got damn, have some kind of a backbone. Maybe if we could go back and put O-Dog and A-Wax next to him so they could gas him up to get his revenge like they did Cain in Menace II Society. “Say Mike, you akkin, like a real bitch right now.”
Somebody tell Uncle Ruckus (from the boondock’s) that this is not how you handle a heckler. If this was the 60’s he would be the only black person to bring a noose to his own hanging. Don’t want the white man to do any extra work now do we? Michael Steele, you receive the epic fail of the day. Mark ass buster!
http://wonkette.com/409846/michael-steele-to-woo-black-people-with-certain-food-items.
Now again, for the lazy people who don’t watch the video, I will sum this up. A blogger asks Michael Steele how he plans to get more of a diverse population in the Republican Party. He answers that he’ll just ask them to come out as they already have and continue to invite them. Some fool in the background then yells “I’ll bring the collard greens.” Instead of ignoring the dude or hitting him with a witty comeback, Steele replies, “I’ll bring the fried chicken and potato salad.” Nigga what? You disloyal, fool ass, bitch-made punk. I had to stop the video after that, so I didn’t see if he went into a tap dance rendition towards the end or not. He should be sharp enough to know when he is being ridiculed. For God’s sake he’s a black Republican. He’s probably heard more “nigger” jokes and “chitlin” jokes than anybody I’ve ever known. I’m not saying to go Ike Turner and whoop the dude’s ass, but got damn, have some kind of a backbone. Maybe if we could go back and put O-Dog and A-Wax next to him so they could gas him up to get his revenge like they did Cain in Menace II Society. “Say Mike, you akkin, like a real bitch right now.”
Somebody tell Uncle Ruckus (from the boondock’s) that this is not how you handle a heckler. If this was the 60’s he would be the only black person to bring a noose to his own hanging. Don’t want the white man to do any extra work now do we? Michael Steele, you receive the epic fail of the day. Mark ass buster!
Friday, July 10, 2009
There are very few situations in which I willingly buy a woman a drink if I’m at a bar or a club: If I came with you and/or if we are more or less cool with each other. And chances are when I buy that drink, I fully expect you to get the next round. Either that, or you’ll be drinking water while I continue to sip on this brown likka. I know what some of you are probably thinking. I’m not cheap. It’s just that I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to get you so drunk to where I’m trying to take advantage of you. So in reality, I’m being a gentleman. Matter of fact, ladies, the next time you see me out you should buy me a drink for being so considerate. Another rule I have while going out is keeping the compliments to a minimum. I know every woman likes to be complimented on her hair/dress/shoes or whatever. I might throw a subtle one over the course of a night, but that’s it. It’s not that I don’t notice the things you did to make yourself look cute, I just don’t feel like I need to tell you the same thing you’ve heard from 20 dudes already. Especially if we’re dealing with a sausage fest.
Some guys, however, will go above and beyond to get the attention of a woman. They throw a slew of overly exaggerated compliments to her throughout the night; a term commonly referred to as “gassing up.” They hover over this poor young lady the whole night; afraid to let her out of his sight for fear that she may meet someone else and have an actual conversation. Their best pick up lines include “Psst…say girl…come here” or they just go for the gusto and grab her arm. They will buy her and her friends unlimited drinks at the bar in what, I believe, is an effort to make it seem as if they have a lot of disposable income. Has anybody seen this guy in the club? Sure you have. He is what we call the resident “SIMP.” Unfortunately, this guy seems to be everywhere you look these days. And while this guy can be a hindrance to real men who actually know how to approach and have a conversation with them, he can also be a blessing in disguise. So I pose this question to you: Are simps a gift or a curse to the other real dudes out there?
Anti-Simp - This is where the simp can hurt you while out for a night. It’s actually quite simple. Let’s say you see someone who you would like to approach while out, but the simp got to her first. By displaying the characteristics above, he will very rarely let her out of his sight or out of talking distance. This will make it very difficult for you to even have enough time or space to approach. Let’s say you are able to steal a minute of her free time. The simp can sense when another, more qualified male is threatening his target of interest. He will then once again approach the young lady, this time to tell her that he has some shots waiting at the bar. But not just any shot. No, the simp has studied women long enough to know that the shot of choice at the time is the “Royal Fuck,” something that no woman aged 21-26 can resist. He’s a sly little devil. He can beat you in a variety of ways. The most common way is that he succeeds in getting the young lady tipsy enough to where she becomes either tired or belligerent. At this point, it will become an annoying task to even try to talk to her. So you cut your losses. You can’t even try talking to one of her cute friends because they all saw you trying to talk to her earlier, and we all know that no woman in history would go behind her friends back and talk to you at this point.
Pro-Simp - But sometimes these guys can be helpful to the rest of us out there. Some ladies are actually smart enough to spot them from a mile away and will openly exploit his simpness to get enough of a buzz and move on. This is what T-Pain and his BIG ASS CHAIN call “chopped and screwed.” So now that she has a slight buzz, the woman you want to approach is ready to have a grand ol time. When you are able to go up to her and talk to her like a mature adult, she will be shocked and caught off guard. The fact that your simp level is drastically low amongst sea of simps will be unbelievable. For, if there were no simps in this world, then the realness wouldn’t be such a sought out characteristic for the rest of us.
So let the debate begin. What’s the opinion of the people? Am I not being SIMPathetic enough to the means that some men need to approach women?
Some guys, however, will go above and beyond to get the attention of a woman. They throw a slew of overly exaggerated compliments to her throughout the night; a term commonly referred to as “gassing up.” They hover over this poor young lady the whole night; afraid to let her out of his sight for fear that she may meet someone else and have an actual conversation. Their best pick up lines include “Psst…say girl…come here” or they just go for the gusto and grab her arm. They will buy her and her friends unlimited drinks at the bar in what, I believe, is an effort to make it seem as if they have a lot of disposable income. Has anybody seen this guy in the club? Sure you have. He is what we call the resident “SIMP.” Unfortunately, this guy seems to be everywhere you look these days. And while this guy can be a hindrance to real men who actually know how to approach and have a conversation with them, he can also be a blessing in disguise. So I pose this question to you: Are simps a gift or a curse to the other real dudes out there?
Anti-Simp - This is where the simp can hurt you while out for a night. It’s actually quite simple. Let’s say you see someone who you would like to approach while out, but the simp got to her first. By displaying the characteristics above, he will very rarely let her out of his sight or out of talking distance. This will make it very difficult for you to even have enough time or space to approach. Let’s say you are able to steal a minute of her free time. The simp can sense when another, more qualified male is threatening his target of interest. He will then once again approach the young lady, this time to tell her that he has some shots waiting at the bar. But not just any shot. No, the simp has studied women long enough to know that the shot of choice at the time is the “Royal Fuck,” something that no woman aged 21-26 can resist. He’s a sly little devil. He can beat you in a variety of ways. The most common way is that he succeeds in getting the young lady tipsy enough to where she becomes either tired or belligerent. At this point, it will become an annoying task to even try to talk to her. So you cut your losses. You can’t even try talking to one of her cute friends because they all saw you trying to talk to her earlier, and we all know that no woman in history would go behind her friends back and talk to you at this point.
Pro-Simp - But sometimes these guys can be helpful to the rest of us out there. Some ladies are actually smart enough to spot them from a mile away and will openly exploit his simpness to get enough of a buzz and move on. This is what T-Pain and his BIG ASS CHAIN call “chopped and screwed.” So now that she has a slight buzz, the woman you want to approach is ready to have a grand ol time. When you are able to go up to her and talk to her like a mature adult, she will be shocked and caught off guard. The fact that your simp level is drastically low amongst sea of simps will be unbelievable. For, if there were no simps in this world, then the realness wouldn’t be such a sought out characteristic for the rest of us.
So let the debate begin. What’s the opinion of the people? Am I not being SIMPathetic enough to the means that some men need to approach women?
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