My Worst Nightmare

I mean yeah, I technically knew it was always a possibility considering the lakers are the best team in the NBA and are looking to go for a 3-Peat, which seems to be the only way Phil Jackson knows how to win championships. True enough, there are tons of bandwagon jumpers who come out of the wood works every year and claim to be lakers fans, but I never thought anyone with Austin blood in him would fall victim to the hype. We are Bulls for life; from my little big brother to my big little brother. Let me start by saying that I absolutely hate everything about the lakers. If every player simultaneously tore his ACL mid game, I would literally celebrate. Sure there are other teams that I hate. UT Football…can’t stand em. Dallas Cowbitches…seriously how can you root for a team where the owner looks like a corpse (that goes triple for Raiders fans)? But the lakers? I hate them 20 times more. So imagine my horror when I first learned that my step dad has been trying to coerce my only nephew into being a lakers fan. My heart broke when I heard him repeating some ridiculous chant my step dad made up. I almost wanted to fight my mother because she bought him a lakers short set.

Now, the little bastard (no offense) is playing little league basketball for the first time. I was kinda relieved when my brother said that he would be coaching him. I figured that he would instill some good basketball values in the kid and, whether through manipulation or brainwashing, whichever works best, turn him into a Bulls fan. Just my luck that the team assignments were handed out and guess what team my nephew is playing for? Guess what team my brother has to coach? Guess what team name they have to cheer for and call out whenever they break a team huddle? The motherf*ckin lakers. Why bad things happen to good people like me, I’ll never know. I do know one thing though. My brother better do whatever it takes to prevent what seems to be the inevitable at this point. Don’t feed him. Spank him for the hell of it. Lock him in his room. I really don’t care. Don’t get me wrong here; I love my nephew more than anything in this world. Nothing will ever change that. It’s just….it’s not that I’ll love him less if he’s a lakers fan, it’s just that I’ll love him more if he’s a Bulls fan.