Where They Do That At?

It’s no secret that I love shopping, specifically for shoes. So I’m talking to a co-worker recently and I mention to him that when I get bored, sometimes I just go to the mall and shop, because it’s something that I enjoy doing so much, and the guy looks at me like I just came out of Oil Can Harry’s with glow sticks, assless chaps and a fishnet tank top (Oil Can Harry’s is a gay bar for all of you outside the Austin area). I just wanna know why some people think that it’s weird for a man to like shopping as much as a woman does? Is it wrong to like to have new stuff, and to want to look good? Personally I don’t think so, but some people do. That’s cool, but I think there are certain things that a man should be able to do without having his sexuality questioned. With all these random claims about male celebrities being secretly gay and this whole DL thing still going on, and of course Atlanta is still in existence; everyone is looking for a reason to call out another dudes suspectability (that is not a word). I also think that there are certain things that if a man were to do, he in fact should be looked at with the dreaded side eye.

Acceptable - Watching “The Hills”
• One of my favorite guilty pleasures. No, the show isn’t the same since LC left, but it’s still very much enjoyable. You just never what Spencer is gonna say next. Also included with this should be any other shows aimed towards a female audience and other chick flicks. Yeah, I’ve watched “The Devil Wears Prada.” What if I happen to be a hopeless romantic and these romantic comedies just kinda feed that part of my personality? It’s all for entertainment people. Maybe deep down inside these movies could somehow improve male/female relationships and we could all probably learn something from them. Not likely, but sometimes I just don’t wanna watch the G4 channel or ESPN all day. If I decide to skip SportsCenter for one night to watch “He’s Just Not That Into You” then let me have that.

Unacceptable – Sending another man a winking smiley face/emoticon via text or bbm
• That shit ain’t cool. Would you wink at another man in a face to face conversation?

Acceptable - Singing along to Beyonce
• I think Beyonce is one of the most beautiful women in the business today. If I had to make a pick between her and Halle Berry, I’d probably just call it a tie and take both. I also happen to think that she is very talented…as far as singing goes. She is a pretty bad actor. She shouldn’t even be allowed to watch movies. With that said, she makes some very catchy songs. You’ll never catch me singing “Single Ladies” or anything like that, but she’s got some hits that go hard. I can relate to some of her songs. I got a big ego too. I don’t know why it is, but some dudes think it makes them look soft to buy albums by female artists. I happen to think Chrisette Michelle had one of, if not the best R&B album last year. However, there are certain things that men should not sing along to…

Unacceptable – Knowing Lil Kim and Trina lyrics word for word
• I’m not endorsing people to boycott any Femcees we have out there. I highly recommend Jean Grey, and I think they need all the support they can get. Much like the WNBA. I just can’t get with singing along to the majority of them talking about how they like to deep throat random dudes and get pounded from various positions. If that’s what they like to do, then more power to them, but for a man to spit bar for bar with them, just seems kinda suspect. Even though “Get Money” is a great song, I can’t rock out to the whole thing because Kim just says some stuff that my manhood won’t let me repeat. Sorry

Acceptable – Using a Loofah
• They exfoliate and get you much cleaner than a regular washcloth, and you don’t have to use as much soap to work up a good lather. Besides, all of my other toiletries are Old Spice and Nivea For Men. Get off my case.
Any other people out there have some actions that are ok for men to do, or some unacceptable ones that will officially have you detected on the Gaydar (gays and women really use this word like it actually exists)?