The other day I was talking with a good friend whose little brother was coming to visit him, and we started a brief conversation of the joys of having a little brother. I know my two older brothers were always elated to have a younger brother because, well …he was me. Growing up, they would give me little pieces of advice here and there to help guide me through life, and even though they were only a couple of years older than me, the advice was well appreciated and put to good use. Well almost 16 years ago, my dad got remarried and had another son. The lucky bastard even looked like me. Now whenever all four of us get together, we make sure to kick the youngest one some knowledge, whether it’s pertains to life in general or dealing with others of the opposite sex. Mainly, the latter because it has been observed that guys today are increasingly getting out of pocket when it comes to matters of the female species in general. I never want my brother to be that guy.
One of the most important pieces of advice given to my big, little brother was to never put anything past any woman. There’s a difference between trusting someone and being naïve. But there are a few more tidbits or better yet, red flags that he should listen for in a conversation when talking to a girl. This can also be used as a tutorial for some of you ladies out there who continue to spew these clichés, thinking guys will fall for them time and time again. Well…we don’t believe you. You need more people.
Red Flag #1: “I’m not like other girls.” Technically, she’s right, because God only created one of her. The same goes for the other 3 to 4 billion women on the planet. Telling any man that you are not like other girls is not going to make him believe you are special. At least I hope not. Because he will have heard it so many times, that by the time the next woman tells him, he’ll believe that you ARE in fact just like every other girl. If women want to prove that they’re not like other women, stop being hormonal and overly emotional about trivial bullshit, don’t be so insecure, stop wearing a similar outfit as every other girl in the club and stop drinking Moscato. Even if you tell me that you were drinking it long before Drake started mentioning it in his songs, I still won’t believe you….because I’ve heard it too many times before.
Red Flag #2: “I’ve never done this before.” This could actually be true, but here’s why I doubt it. Some women perform certain acts a little too well and without any reluctance for me to believe that she’s never had practice before. Why women tell us this fairytale, I have no idea; probably because she doesn’t want to come off as easy. This is totally understandable except that women fail to realize one thing. No sane man cares or cares to know about your past. As long as a woman isn’t a known slut or have any STD’s, we really don’t want to know. When you tell this little lie, all it makes us men believe is that you’re covering up for being too easy. So, my big, little brother , whenever a woman says this to you just nod and smile, and know that she’s probably done it before and she’ll most likely do it again for you.
Red Flag # 3: “I only hang out with guys.” or “I don’t have any female friends.” I’ve run across at least six of these women in my lifetime. Ironically, they all hang out together. When a woman says one or the other to a man, he’s not thinking “Finally, I have someone to watch the game and play Call of Duty with. I’m not sure what it is about women that they think men want to hear this. We especially don’t if we’re trying to establish some kind of relationship. It’s not even about me being insecure or about me not trusting you. It’s about me knowing other dudes. The thirst levels for these dudes out here are at an all-time high, and as high as they put the p*ssy on a pedestal, you can’t put anything past them. Imagine if the next dude you tried talking to told you that he only hangs out with women. Half of the women out there will label him a whore. The other half will label him as gay. For the women in the “I don’t have any female friends” party, you strike me as one of two things; a person who fails to develop and maintain meaningful relationships, or someone who doesn’t have any friends to occupy her time, so she’ll bug the fuck out of me day in and day out. Either way, I’ll pass. And you should too bro.
I’m sure you all will have a lot to say about this one, so have at it.
Oh yeah, follow me on twitter @baustin06
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