What's poppin, Kermits? What started as a rant on twitter has inspired today's guest blogger, The Dark Knight. It's his second time collaborating with the ShoeBag. Enjoy...
“My Best Friend Say…”
Over the next several weeks, as a guest writer, of the critically acclaimed MyShoeBag we will delve into various, yet equally substantial, causes of failed relationships. You might be saying to yourself “I don’t have a problem in my relationship” or “I enjoy being single” or quite possibly you are thinking “finally an answer to my prayers”; wherever you fall these series of highly intuitive rants are for you or “someone you know”…wink…wink. So let’s get started shall we?
Most women operate under the fallacy that “most of your friends are guys” when the fact is while you may know and associate with a lot of guys, the core of your social circle…FEMALE. Women have this bad. You will engage in a relationship and because of the euphoric nature of it, you will broadcast all of the romantic, sweet, endearing traits (even down to the earth shattering pound game that you receive on the daily) that make “your man” the most fantastic creature formed on the earth. However, there are specific females that you need to be consciously aware in your life space who may not always necessarily share in your happiness. I will even use the lyrics of Aaliyah’s “Best Friend” record to try and bring some tangibility to these women.
Selfish Friend- “My best friend say, She’s sick of me, cryin' on the phone Tellin' how my man be doggin' me”- this is the friend that expects you to always be there for her, but is never there for you. She dumps her issues at your doorstep, seeks your counsel, and then once you give her advice, you don’t hear from her for weeks. You keep her around, because you like to feel important and needed and she provides you with that. You consider yourself her personal counselor, but then get befuddled when she is not interested in trying to help you solve your own crisis.
Negative friend- “My best friend say, don’t tell her nothin' 'bout me and you' Cause she ain't showin' me no sympathy”-The glass is always half empty with this friend. She never has anything positive to say about your relationships, she always is trying to discredit the things and the people you get involved with and 9 times out of 10 she has nothing going on in her own life. You keep her around, because she’s “REAL” and you appreciate her “Brutal Honesty”…bull crap. This chick is just bitter and misery loves company.
Acquaintance Friend- “My best friend say I can stay with her, at her house No doubt, anytime I like”- The Acquaintance is the person in your circle who you consider a great friend, but she views you more as an acquaintance. You know she’s the girl that has it together, but because you keep being an idiot, she doesn’t really identify with your drama; she thinks you’re stupid, but won’t tell you and you just think she is the best friend in the world…NEWS FLASH she treats you like you treat the “Selfish Friend” but she doesn’t care enough to give you the sound advice you need.
Trifling Friend- “My best friend say Don't let you in my life ‘Cause you don't do for me And you don't act right My best friend say If she was me She would let you go a long, long time ago”- Now this is the friend that most women think of when they make the comment, “Girls Are Messy.” This is the girl that plots on your relationship, looks for ways to tempt your man and take them away from you. This is the insecure chick who has nothing to lose and at the first sign of trouble, she is telling you that you are “too good to put up with his s*%!”; and of course you fall for it, because she is the only one of your friends who “APPEARS” to “REALLY CARE”. You keep her around because you are naïve to her strategies and once she double crosses you, you cut her and every other female off for the rest of your life. But do not be disheartened, Aaliyah does describe the friend that all of us need in the chorus.
True Friend-“I'll still be there for you In the time of need You can lean on me, come on I'll be there for you-The True Friend is the one that tried to tell you to keep some things to yourself when talking about your relationship around all of your “other friends”. The True friend told you what you needed to focus on getting yourself right. The True friend told you when you were acting stupid; told you that you had changed; but always answered your phone calls when you were emotional; always helped you figured out what you needed to do, but never told you what to do. The True Friend, as rare as they are, was and has always been there…you just often neglected her because you saw her as being too picky when she was just refusing to lower her standards. You saw her as jealous whenever she simply tried to hold you accountable...and YET SHE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU, NEVER JUDGED YOU, AND REALLY LIVED BEYOND THE TITLE OF FRIEND THAT YOU GAVE HER.
Some might say like Ginuwine, “It ain’t none of your friends business”, or like Jon B where “they don’t know about our love” but if you can be like Drizzy Drake and successfully identify your true friends from all “the fake friends writing the wrong answers on the mirror for you” then I guarantee you will be off to a good start when making sure you have successful relationships.
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