So a while ago my brother and I had to meet up with my mom for some reason at a beauty shop in Houston. Apparently this place specialized in lace front wigs. And before anybody gets any bright ideas, no my mother did not get a lace front. I might disown her if she did so. However, I did make a comment to the proprietors about how tacky and unattractive lace front wigs look, and you would’ve thought I told her that her first born child was the spawn of Satan. She was willing to argue to the death about the “benefits” of a lace front wig. Eventually I just dropped it because I had more important shit to do than argue with some dumb broad about lace front wigs. Now generally I don’t go around calling women dumb broads, but she actually tried to convince me that shit looks good so what else am I supposed to call her?
Ladies, please stop. I’m begging you from the bottom of my heart, please just stop. It’s not cute. It’s not sexy. It looks atrocious. I know JJ agrees with me; he’s lacist. The highlight of the disagreement that I had with said dumb broad is that she tried to convince me that the hairline looks more natural with a lace front. That’s funny because all it looks like to me is that someone tried to scalp her and decided to stop before the job was finished. How can anything look more natural than your NATURAL hairline? If I was dating a woman and she told me she was even thinking of getting a lace front, I would put my Gillettes to use and we’d be rocking matching baldies. I know what some of you lace front wearing ladies will say, “It’s my hair and I can do what I want with it.” True enough. You can also go out in public with a mini skirt and football cleats. By all means, it’s your decision, but you’ll still look like a fucking idiot. Pardon me if I sound a little bitter, but I’m just about done with my second glass of Jameson on the rocks and it’s the last of the alcohol in my house. Good night.
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